Getting started is the hardest part.

I want to be a blogger. From what I’m told (and from some of the examples I’ve read), that is actually very easy to do. I want to be good at this. That is a little harder to do. I’d suppose that good is in the eye of the reader. I’m the Queen of Research, so knowing what to do isn’t the hard part. I enjoy writing, spelling, and putting together grammatically correct thoughts (how nerdy), so that’s not the hard part. Plus, the internet is very forgiving when it comes to a casual, conversational writing style. So, what’s the problem? I’m afraid of failing. Did I just type that out loud?? In the grand scheme of things…who cares? Right? Right? At the end of the day, this could just be another one of my little experiments. No one needs to know that I was being serious. 🙂

What if no one wants to read my blog? That would suck. What if everyone wants to read my blog? That would suck, too. Here’s the insanity that’s brewing in my head. I’m a little more controversial than some of the people who know me may realize. I’m not as controversial as some of the other blogs out there. How do I share what I want to share and not hurt those around me? I must not let the cardinal rule of the internet (always assume that the person you don’t want to read your blog will read your blog) muffle my voice. Ah, you must seek balance, grasshopper.

Oh, and also? I’m afraid of internet stalkers.

I don’t want everyone knowing my business, yet I have the urge to share my thoughts with the world, and is that so wrong? I’ve never claimed to not be contradictory.

This leads me to my next pressing question that I must answer before I get started on this blog. Do I use my real name or a pseudonym? Okay, I have a confession to make. I posted for over a year on an internet community for expectant mothers using a pseudonym and it was exhausting! Seriously. People didn’t know I wasn’t who I said I was. I wasn’t dishonest in the information or advice I shared, but part of me felt dishonest. Protected from stalkers, but dishonest.

It started out innocently. On this particular iCommunity, things work more smoothly if you sign up for a free account. I wasn’t planning on posting anything. Honest. I just wanted to lurk, so I chose a fake name that I thought most people would assume was fake. Then, I started posting here and there, and soon, I became a regular poster that other people responded to favorably. I even started my own weekly update thread.

Then, things started getting out of control. I had a fake email address that I had to check daily, because people from the board wanted to email me directly! I started to feel like I was living a double-life! I was even invited to join another web community that was a spin-off of the original one. I couldn’t all of a sudden say, “Oh, gee…you know me as Kitty, but my name is really… something completely different.” I felt like I was in a sit-com where the main character starts out in a teeny-tiny, accidental lie and then has to perpetuate it throughout the episode, all the while getting herself into more and more ridiculous situations.

Eventually, we all had our babies, and I claimed to be “really busy” and stopped posting at both locations. Sometimes I wonder if anyone wonders what happened to Kitty, er, I mean, me. 🙂

But, I digress.

I think I want to use my real name, but maybe just my real first name? We already have a password-protected no-strangers-can-get-in because-my-hubby is-a-paranoid-cyberfreak family website. That is that, and this is this. On second thought, I’ll be Momma, and my hubby will be Daddy. That’s what we answer to now most of the time anyway. No one’s being deceived; we still have some semblance of privacy, and that makes me feel good. 🙂 Balance is good.

If you can’t tell by now, I’ve always been a let’s-figure-out the-logistics-before we-get-started kind of person. Plans make me happy. Maps make me giddy. Lists make my heart go pitter-pat. Details? Oh, I love details. More than anyone could ever know. My challenge is not getting bogged down by the details.

What theme should I use? What colors should I use? What design fits my style? Does any of this really matter right now? I just feel the urge to get started, but I’ll go crazy(ier) if I don’t have the details figured out a billion times over!

So, why blogging? I want to write. I’ve always liked to write. I used to keep a journal (the old fashioned, writing my thoughts on paper with a real pen kind of journal…and yes, I even had some locked with cute, tiny little keys). I haven’t done that in years. I always felt balanced when I journaled. And, to be honest, I feel balanced now, so I was wondering how that could be. Then, I realized that I do a lot of my journaling via email to friends and family. Hmmm…let’s see, journaling via the internet. Isn’t there a name for that?

So, I’ve decided to get started. I want to chronicle the hilarity that is created by raising a child. I want to write about our travels and our home improvement projects. I want to write about the comical things my hubby says. I want to remember the good times. I want to remember the lessons learned from the challenging times. I want to feed and water the creative side of my brain.

I’m getting my thoughts on cyber-paper (i.e. Word), and I may or may not use this content, but it feels great to get things going and figure out the details. I’ve done some research, so that part of my brain is starting to feel placated, and here we go!

I can’t wait to see where we end up.

The Original About Page

What follows is The Original About Page, as edited up to July 2009. You can see the current About Page by clicking here.

Here is where I’m supposed to write something witty about myself that both describes who I am and what this blog will be about. Hmmm, okay, here it goes…

I consider myself to be a perfectionist, but not a stuffy, up-tight perfectionist…more like a casual perfectionist (hence the name of my blog). If you were paying attention, you noticed that my first sentence ends in a preposition, and that irks me, but I’m trying to be casual about this whole blog thing, so I’m leaving it that way. 🙂

In this blog, I will go by the name Momma, and my hubby has requested that he be called Bobby. No, Bobby isn’t his real name. Frankly, I think that’s weird, so I’ll just call him Daddy. We have a three-year old daughter named Claire. She calls us Momma and Daddy, so this isn’t a big stretch. Yes, Claire is her real name. (Claire, if you’re reading this, years from now, and you hate that we called you by your real name in a public blog, you can just tell people that it must be about a different Claire. Claire was a name I fought hard to name you, and it’s the only name Daddy liked that we could both spell. Sorry.) The three of us share a house with Merlin and Jasper, our two kitties. They are not innocent; their names have not been changed.

We live in a beautiful suburb of a large metropolitan area in the Mountain Time Zone. It’s the forgotten time zone. Those who live in the Mountain Time Zone are required to do small mathematical equations to figure out what time television shows come on in their viewing area…or they just get TiVO.

We chose a house in the older demographic, because we wanted to work on home remodeling projects, and we often need to remind each other why it is we wanted to do that. When we were young and naïve, we didn’t think anything was worse than sitting in an apartment, watching HGTV with no opportunity to get our hands dirty. Well, after eight years of living in a Weekend Warriors episode, we’re still going strong. Some days are better than others. We joke that when all the projects are done, it will be time to move.

Prior to living near the beautiful mountains, my husband and I were born and raised as flatlanders. We met after college, and have lived together for 12 years. We’ve been married for over eight of those years, and we moved away from the Midwest over ten years ago. We’ve traveled the world together and have had many adventures. We both have college degrees. He’s working in his field of study, and I’ve changed paths many times. We’re both perfectionists, but I’m trying to be casual about it.

Claire was born right after we celebrated our five year wedding anniversary, and I’m glad we waited until our thirties to have her. I’m happy with our choices. I love our family dynamic, and I can’t imagine changing a thing.

So, what will this blog be about? (There’s that pesky preposition again…) It’s about life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. It’s about keeping it all together while raising a child, and everything that happens in between. It’s all about me, my thoughts, and my experiences as a woman, wife, and mother. It’s all about the details, as recorded by a casual perfectionist.

Note: The picture at the top of the blog contains a representation of the three of us. (Usually! Sometimes a random photo catches our eye and we use that for a while…) You can read about the headers here!

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