Last Saturday, in the midst of one of our projects, we went out to dinner with Dick and Grace. We have known this couple for years, and they live in a really nice loft downtown. We have a blast going out with them, and they do a good job of pretending to be okay with our newly babysitter-imposed curfew. (Okay, I’m the one who sets the curfew, but if I tell our babysitter when we’ll be back, I don’t want our babysitter to have to wait around. I was a babysitter. I know how frustrating it can be if the parental units are late. Are they okay? Did something happen? Will I get paid for the extra time? Being home when you say you’ll be home is just good manners. Plus, the curfew I set wasn’t unreasonable. But, I digress…)
Anyway, we always meet at Dick and Grace’s loft for drinks and conversation before heading to our destination. We’re getting settled in at their island in the kitchen, and Dick says, “Oh! I have to tell you this story now, because I’ll forget. Believe me. It’s good.”
He goes to the pantry and pulls out a Crown Royal bag. I don’t like Crown Royal, but I’ve always thought the purple bags were so soft and pretty. (I’m such a girl.) Dick, a Librarian who works downtown, says, “I had to work for a few hours today, and let me start by saying, that there is an unspoken code among Librarians that you don’t talk to the patrons about things. You don’t pass judgment on their choice of literature. You don’t comment about personal things. You answer questions and help in any way you can, but you keep the personal commentary to yourself.”
He holds up the bag and continues, “But, today…a woman came up to the desk, and she was using one of these as a purse! I just couldn’t contain myself. I said, ‘Oh, I like that stuff too!’ and she said, ‘Yeah, and these bags are so handy!’”
He sets the bag down on the counter to free up his hands and says, “So, I’m checking-out her items, and notice that her account has been flagged. I say to her, ‘Ma’am, the system says you have an overdue book. The fine is less than $10, so you don’t have to pay it today, but I just need to tell you that it’s in the system.’ She says to me, ‘Really? On what?’”
Dick makes a typing motion with his fingers, and his eyes get really big, “Ummm…the fine is on your copy of The Easy Way to Stop Drinking, by Allen Carr.”
“No way!! What did you say???” we practically ask in unison.
“We were both pretty silent after that.”
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