Monthly Archive for January, 2008

Yes, I’m being facetious

I love it when it snows 10-inches, even though all the news channels say we got 2-inches of snow. I shoveled it. I’m not sure where they measured, but it wasn’t outside in my driveway. Maybe they were holding the ruler upside down?

I love it when I get a Puerto Rico file and a Hawaii file on the same day. One is from a time zone three hours ahead and the other is from three hours behind. How convenient!

I love it when I get a file that appears to be written lightly in pencil, smudged a few times and then faxed on a fax machine that is almost out of toner. Awesome.

I love it when my husband is gone for the second week in a row, and this time, he’s in a time zone seven hours away.

I love it when Claire agrees to go down for her afternoon nap and then yells, “I hate you!” from her crib. Over and over. a) I’m not really sure where she got that from, and b) she’s too young to really mean it…yet. But, still it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Is it time to go home yet?
Oh that’s right.
I live here. 😉

Edited to add:  Maybe I posted that last one too soon?  Now, she’s yelling, “I love you!” over and over.  Such is the life of a toddler.  🙂

Mad Txting Skillz

About a week ago I discovered that I have unlimited texting on my cell phone. I don’t have a camera on it, and I turned off the Internet access, because I just wanted a cell phone that would make and take calls (oh, the concept!).  Throughout the month, I’d been getting text messages from my sister, but I wasn’t sure how to respond or if there was a charge on my phone for doing so. So, I contacted customer service, and they told me I had unlimited texting on my phone! I then found where it was hidden mentioned that on my bill, so it must be true. 🙂

When I worked in the Corporate World, I had a two-way pager that looked like a tiny laptop. It was so handy to page my friends, and it was a form of texting. Only, I could thumb-type on a tiny keyboard, rather than work my way through the alphabet on the keypad of a phone. And, I have a PalmPilot. It also has a tiny keyboard that I can tap on with the stylus. I’m really quick when it comes to keyboards. I can type at an insanely high number of words per minute, and the accuracy is always near 100%. What can I say? It’s what I do, and it’s who I am.

So, imagine my frustration at learning how to text on a phone keypad. I’ve only been doing this a week, so I’m still painfully slow. And, I’m still learning all the features of my keypad.

Last night, Claire is sitting on my lap, because she’s feeling especially needy. I’m trying to get some reports wrapped up for work, and then my cell phone dances and buzzes. It’s my “You’ve got a text message” alert! Sweet! I love txt msgs! 😉

I jostle Claire around, pick up my phone and flip it open. My eyes scan the message and I laugh out loud. My brain explodes with a witty response, and then I try desperately to hold on to it as my fingers try to catch up.

I’m slow, but, I know that I’ll get faster at this. My sister has been texting her friends for ages, so she’s fast. She even types out whole words, and without using that wacky feature that will try to guess the word for you. I tried that one day and laughed so hard it wasn’t funny. The words it was suggesting were hilarious. Needless to say, I turned that feature off and peck things out the old fashioned way.

All of a sudden, Claire says, “Shut your phone, Momma! Shut the lid!” and she tries to shut it for me while I’m typing. She doesn’t like it when things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be, and if you’re not going to talk to someone on that thing, please shut it. Now.

“I’m not going to shut it yet, Claire! I’m typing a message!” I say as I try to keep it out of her reach, while searching for the next letter.

“You don’t type on a phone, Momma. You type on a keyboard!” she tells me in no uncertain terms. I could hear the exasperation in her voice.

“Tell me about it, Claire…tell me about it.” I couldn’t agree more. 😉

26-months old today!

I know it may seem kind of silly to post a picture of Claire every month on the 30th, but why not? 🙂 It’s amazing how quickly she’s changing.

A note about the pictures: You can click on each photo to enlarge it. Clicking a second time will make it even bigger.

Here is a picture we took today:

26-months old

Here is a picture from a year ago today:

14-months old

And, here is a picture from two years ago today:

2-months old

What a difference a year (or two) makes! 🙂

Cool Lost Link

As one of my readers has pointed out in the comment section of Lost: Missing Pieces – The Envelope, there is a really cool Lost link posted on abc.com. (Thanks, cadiz12!!)

It is a re-cap of what has happened on the show so far. In true Lost form, the recap is 8-minutes and 15-seconds long.  😉

Didn’t watch the show and wonder what it’s all about? Check out the link. Watched it but got distracted and stopped? Check out the link. Watched it religiously but would like a recap before the big day tomorrow (or the recap show tonight)? Check out the link. Hopelessly addicted to all things Lost-related? Check out the link.

Here it is!

Oooooh, I can’t wait!! 🙂

Dirty Words

I grew up in a house that didn’t allow swearing of any kind. My parents were very strict with that, and the harshest word I heard at home was when my dad used “dirty cockroach.” (If you heard that, it was best to steer clear of Dad!) But, then I started riding the bus. Do you want to know what I heard on the bus? Everything. Potty-mouthed sailor-wannabes rode my bus. I remember sitting there trying to figure out what in the world they meant with some of the words they were using.

One day, I couldn’t handle the suspense, and when I got home, I decided to ask my mom what a particular word meant. She was getting supper ready in the kitchen. “Mom, what does f*ck mean?” I asked innocently. I will never forget the color of white that she turned. She gasped and asked where I’d heard that. “On the bus,” I told her. I could tell that she was visibly upset. “Go ask your father,” she stammered.

So, I skipped into the living room where Dad was sitting on the couch in front of the TV. My dad knew everything about everything. You could ask him anything and you’d get an answer. “Dad,” I said. “I heard a word on the bus, and I asked Mom what it meant, and she told me to ask you,” I said, dying to know what the big deal was. I mean, I’d asked mom about all kinds of words before, and it was no big deal. Something was different this time.

“What word was that?” he asked.

“F*ck,” I said, watching for his expression to change.

I remember his eyes crinkling with a smile and he chuckled. Then, in true Dad-form, he explained that the word that had made my mother turn pale was actually a crude description of what happens when creatures mate. Like what happens between bulls and cows in the pasture. We lived on a farm, so the description made perfect sense. I thought it was the silliest choice of word ever. And, even now, whenever I hear that word I think of cattle.

“You can ask me what any word means,” he said. “But don’t ever say those things around your mother.”

I know that what I’m about to say will make my mother shake her head with disappointment, but I really don’t have a problem with swear words or the people who use them. I don’t use them on my blog, but that’s my choice, and it honestly doesn’t bother me if they are used appropriately or in a clever context. Yes, there are cases where even I have to question the usage (the show Deadwood, for example?), but I don’t believe in censorship, and I never have. The language got in the way for me with Deadwood, so I didn’t watch it. It was a simple choice. But, the language in the Sopranos? That was totally realistic and didn’t even make me blink. It made the story so believable.

That being said, I live with a toddler…a sponge of a toddler that is soaking in every word around her and then using it out loud. In public. To Grandma. To someone who may be offended.

Right now, it’s pretty easy to control her environment, but we don’t live in a bubble. We hear choice words when we’re out and about. Eventually she’ll go to school and hear every dirty word known to man. The trick will be getting her to understand that there are appropriate places to use the proper words. People will judge her based on her word-choice, so it’s important to create the picture she wants others to see.

And, since having a child, my husband and I have tried our hardest to be a source of repeatable, grandma-quality words. I’ve resorted to saying, “Come on, dude!” in the car, and hearing my husband refer to the driver who cut him off in traffic as a ding-dong makes me laugh out loud. My, how times have changed. 😉

Speaking of life with a toddler, below is the funniest commercial I have seen in a long time. One of my sisters quoted this Orbit commercial weeks ago, and I’d never seen it. (We have TiVO, so commercials are a rare occurrence in our house.) But, I happened upon it one night and then found it on youtube.

I’ve included a transcript below it, because it is so funny. It makes me laugh just thinking about it.

So, if you live with a toddler and you’ve run out of clean words to say, here are some dirty ones. 😉

Wife: You son of a biscuit-eating bulldog!

Bill, her husband: What the French toast?

Wife: You didn’t think I’d find out about your little doo-doo head cootie queen?

The Other Woman: Who are you callin’ a cootie queen, you lint licker!?

Wife: Pickle you, kumquat!

Bill: You’re overreacting…

Wife: No, Bill, overreacting was when I put your convertible into a wood chipper…Stinky McStinkface!

The Other Woman: You Hoboken.

Orbit Announcer Lady: Fabulous! New Orbit Raspberry Mint cleans another dirty mouth. *bing!* For a good clean feeling no matter what.

I used to know

As I’m snuggling under the covers, I’ve decided to sleep on my hubby’s side of the bed. I can smell him on his pillow and it makes me happy. I look over at the clock, the red numbers creating a soft glow in the darkness. I count out the seven-hour difference on my fingers. A flood of memories washes over me. I used to know what time it was in London without even thinking, my brain automatically converting the numbers.

Memories from a former life become so vivid. I haven’t thought of those days in years. My husband’s trip to London has triggered them. In a former life, I was the executive assistant to a rather powerful man who worked in a rather prominent company. At first, his responsibilities were stateside, but he was promoted and his duties became global. Trips to London and other far-off places were commonplace.

The trips to London were more frequent, and I used to know the flight numbers and times to and from London by heart. I used to know who to contact at the drop of a hat to get excellent service at a certain hotel in London. I used to keep things together here while he traveled abroad. I used to know what time it was in London just by looking at the clock.

My duties for this man would have been overwhelming to some, but I could handle it. I didn’t think it was possible to work for someone who was just as picky as I was. We were the perfect match. I could anticipate what he was going to ask before he asked it, and he was impressed with my attention to such details.

When he was stateside, my life was easier. He was demanding but appreciative. It’s when he was seven hours away that my life became exponentially more difficult. He would never hesitate to page me for things, not giving one thought to the fact that I would be in bed or that it would be the middle of the night. But, in a global economy, things happen when they happen.

On more than one occasion, I would hear my pager vibrating on my bedside table at 3am. I would flip open the little device that looked like a little laptop and furiously type with my thumbs on the tiny keys. I was the fastest thumb-typist this side of the Mississippi…never mind the fact that I had all of the access codes and teleconference phone numbers memorized. I would squint at the screen with one eye, checking my work and press ‘send.’ For being so picky and needing things just so, my boss sure was forgetful. Why bother printing out his calendar and sync’ing his Palm Pilot if he’s just going to page me at such brutal hours? My hubby would mumble something in his sleep, and I would tell him not to worry. It was just my boss. Again. I’d handled the situation. Again.

Outsiders told me I was being abused by a tyrant. They didn’t see the softer side of him. Yes, he was challenging at times, but he was powerful, and when you’re the right hand of a very powerful man, it’s intoxicating. I made calls and people did things without question. I told people to jump, and they did so immediately, without even stopping to ask how high.

It wasn’t until I tried to leave him that things took a sour turn. He had groomed me for a project management role, allowed me to get extra schooling, and encouraged me to interview for another position within the company. I was offered the job and accepted, but in the end, he refused to let me go. His powerful position outranked my dreams and the desires of my future boss, and I was trapped.

I was devastated, and the respect I’d had for him vanished. It was soon after that that I plotted my escape, and another chapter of my life began. But, this isn’t about that, and I’m trying to push all the memories back into the box under my bed. I don’t have time to deal with all of those now. I’m free from all of that, and my life is so much better now. This isn’t about that. This isn’t about then. This is about how I used to know what time it was in London just by looking at the clock, and now, I snuggle under the blankets counting out the hours on my fingers.

LOST: MISSING PIECES – The Envelope

Yet another installment of Lost: Missing Pieces is up at abc.com.

Here is the direct link.

I will warn you. This one is pretty good, but don’t expect a lot of answers. Who is that woman? Who gave the envelope to Juliet? What is it all about? What? What? What?

More questions. No answers.

Thankfully, Lost premiers this week! I’ve heard through the grapevine that they are showing a repeat of the Finale on Wednesday, but they will be including more clues and other information with it. (Something about pop-up video thingies and stuff? Check out Tubular in my Blogroll to read for yourself.) I guess we won’t know what they’re talking about until we see it for ourselves.

Then…Thursday is the big day! First, they will be showing a re-cap show of sorts, and then the Season Premier! TiVO is recording it as two shows…the re-cap being 1-hr and the Premier being 1-hr.

Needless to say, I can’t wait!! The suspense is enough to push me over the edge, and I may actually be forced to watch the show as close to live-TV as is possible without going insane(r). 🙂

In the meantime, go check out the Lost: Missing Pieces snippets…and let the countdown begin!

Note:  You can also check out the Lost: Missing Pieces Category for more info!

Cool Blog Stuff

Okay, normally, I don’t use my blog as a platform to talk directly to my readers, but this post is a little different. It’s a Monday, so I thought I’d change it up a bit. So, here’s a letter…to you!

Dearest Readers,

I’m not sure if you’ve noticed the BlogRush “From the Blogosphere” badge on my sidebar. It’s a free thing I joined, where they stream blogs into your widget and in turn, your blog is streamed into other peoples’ widgets. (Okay, that is definitely a sentence I never foresaw in my future!!) 😉

I like it because it allows me to find blogs that I may have not found otherwise, and I’m always looking for new blogs to read.

It’s also cool because it brings new readers to this site, too. It’s a win-win for everyone.

If you’ve got ads on your site, new readers are a goal of yours. (Speaking of which, I’ve heard through the grapevine that if you have certain versions of Internet Explorer, you can’t see all my Google Ads on the left sidebar. I use Mozilla Firefox, so everything appears just fine for me…  Edited to add:  A Google Ad Tech Person just told me that they’re aware of the issue and gave me a work-around.  I think it’s working now!) Personally, I like new readers who comment so that I can go check out their blogs, and that helps fulfill my obsession with collecting blogs. 😉 It’s a vicious and wonderful cycle, actually. 🙂

If you’re interested in learning more about it or signing up your blog, just click on the “add your blog posts free” part of the button and check it out.

All this being said, someone I found via BlogRush has said some really nice things about me on her blog. I found her via BlogRush, and laughed through an entire post of hers. I commented on her site, immediately added her blog to my GoogleReader and my Blogroll, and the rest is history.

You should check her out for yourself: Sleeping Mommy. And, not just because she said nice stuff about me. 😉

Well, I gotta run. I hear the Force of Nature awakening…and I have way too much to do today. It’s going to be a long week, and it just started. 😉

Sincerely,

Momma
a.k.a The Casual Perfectionist

Book Idea

“So, have you been able to start your book yet?” he asked.

“No, I haven’t had time…it’s hard to focus on that with the files and Claire. But, I have some ideas…” I said.

“Really? Like what?”

“Well, I was thinking about writing a book where the main character is this woman in her early 30s. She’s trapped in suburbia with an at-home job and a toddler while her husband gets to travel the world while leaving important items that actually belong to his wife in random hotel rooms…”

*gasp* “I told you to write fiction!”

“What?”  I said innocently.  “What are you talking about? Any similarities between my book and our life would be purely coincidental.”

😉

How cold is it?

No, what follows isn’t the punch line to a horrible Midwestern joke about the weather.  In honor of my hubby’s upcoming trip to Europe, here is a handy tip:

Simple Celsius/Fahrenheit Conversion:

Degrees Fahrenheit minus 30, divided by 2 = Celsius
Degrees Celsius times 2, plus 30 = Fahrenheit

Example:  50 Degrees Fahrenheit = 10 Degrees Celsius

50 – 30 = 20  /  2 = 10
10 x 2 = 20 + 30 = 50

Or, “double it, then add 30” or “subtract 30 and then take half.”

Cold is still cold, and hot is still hot, but this quick and dirty calculation will help you plan accordingly.  🙂

It’s not perfect, but it’s close enough…Casual Perfection at its finest.  😉