Mad Txting Skillz

About a week ago I discovered that I have unlimited texting on my cell phone. I don’t have a camera on it, and I turned off the Internet access, because I just wanted a cell phone that would make and take calls (oh, the concept!).  Throughout the month, I’d been getting text messages from my sister, but I wasn’t sure how to respond or if there was a charge on my phone for doing so. So, I contacted customer service, and they told me I had unlimited texting on my phone! I then found where it was hidden mentioned that on my bill, so it must be true.

When I worked in the Corporate World, I had a two-way pager that looked like a tiny laptop. It was so handy to page my friends, and it was a form of texting. Only, I could thumb-type on a tiny keyboard, rather than work my way through the alphabet on the keypad of a phone. And, I have a PalmPilot. It also has a tiny keyboard that I can tap on with the stylus. I’m really quick when it comes to keyboards. I can type at an insanely high number of words per minute, and the accuracy is always near 100%. What can I say? It’s what I do, and it’s who I am.

So, imagine my frustration at learning how to text on a phone keypad. I’ve only been doing this a week, so I’m still painfully slow. And, I’m still learning all the features of my keypad.

Last night, Claire is sitting on my lap, because she’s feeling especially needy. I’m trying to get some reports wrapped up for work, and then my cell phone dances and buzzes. It’s my “You’ve got a text message” alert! Sweet! I love txt msgs!

I jostle Claire around, pick up my phone and flip it open. My eyes scan the message and I laugh out loud. My brain explodes with a witty response, and then I try desperately to hold on to it as my fingers try to catch up.

I’m slow, but, I know that I’ll get faster at this. My sister has been texting her friends for ages, so she’s fast. She even types out whole words, and without using that wacky feature that will try to guess the word for you. I tried that one day and laughed so hard it wasn’t funny. The words it was suggesting were hilarious. Needless to say, I turned that feature off and peck things out the old fashioned way.

All of a sudden, Claire says, “Shut your phone, Momma! Shut the lid!” and she tries to shut it for me while I’m typing. She doesn’t like it when things aren’t the way they’re supposed to be, and if you’re not going to talk to someone on that thing, please shut it. Now.

“I’m not going to shut it yet, Claire! I’m typing a message!” I say as I try to keep it out of her reach, while searching for the next letter.

“You don’t type on a phone, Momma. You type on a keyboard!” she tells me in no uncertain terms. I could hear the exasperation in her voice.

“Tell me about it, Claire…tell me about it.” I couldn’t agree more.