It’s Wednesday afternoon. I’m sitting in my office, looking at the pile of files that need to be completed. The week is half over, and I’m glad we’ve both made it to Wednesday with Daddy gone on his business trip. Claire is playing, but not too loudly, so I put my headset on and press the speaker phone button. Time to make some business calls.
I hear the dial tone in my ear. I find the number to call and press the 1 button. All of a sudden my cell phone rings in my purse.
I jolt with surprise. I press the speaker phone button to hang up the call I was about to make, grab my phone and flip it open.
I see his name.
Smiling. He’s calling me? In the middle of the day?
My heart skips a beat, because I still get butterflies when my hubby calls me. I love calls that are just for me. He’s thinking about me.
Wait, why is he calling in the middle of the day? Isn’t it 4:30 there? This is much earlier than his normal calls. This is odd. Concerned.
I press ‘talk.”
“Hello?” I said. Questioning? An “are you alright” tone.
“Promise not to be mad,” he said.
Umm, okay? No, “Hello.” No, “Hey, how are ya?” Straight to business. Should I make a promise I can’t keep? Mad? Why would I be mad? Are you okay? Did you wreck the car? Wait, the cars are here. Is something wrong? If he says not to be mad, I need to trust him. Did his flight change? Is he getting back later than anticipated?
“Okay, I won’t be mad,” I said.
“For real. Please don’t be mad, and promise me you won’t cry,” he said.
Okay, this is serious. He knows that nothing makes me cry quicker than telling me not to.
“I won’t be mad. Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I said.
Jumbled words. Bits and pieces. Yes, he’ll be back on Friday as planned. London. London? London! Emergency work project. This has never happened before, but they need him. Sunday. This Sunday. As in you’re back for barely a day and then gone again, Sunday.
“For how long?” I said.
“I don’t know,” he said.
Tears. I can’t stop them. I only promised I wouldn’t get mad. I made no promises about the tears. Oh, please don’t let him hear them in my voice.
“What does that mean? A week? A month?” I said. Oh, please don’t let it be a month. I can’t live without him for that long. Suck it up. Yes you could. Yes you can. Stop crying.
“Probably a week or so. I’ll know more later. I just wanted to talk to you about it first. I really need to do this. Please don’t cry, babe,” he said.
Questions. Concerns. No answers. Answers will come soon, but not now. Now is not the time for answers. Now is the time to control my emotions.
“Please don’t be mad,” he said.
“I’m not mad,” I said. Insanely jealous. I’m so jealous. A whirlwind trip to Europe is so exciting. A lot of work, but really cool. I’m stuck here with a toddler and a pile of files. I chose this, so I can’t blame him.
“I am insanely jealous, though…” I said. Laughing through my tears.
He knows me, so he knows I’m jealous. He hopes I’m not mad, and I’m not. I promised him that I wouldn’t be.
sent to your Email
