The shorter version of this story is at the end. In the meantime, here is the long version:
My hubby and I were at the store looking for a swimming pool for Claire. Earlier, I’d mentioned to him that I wanted to get new sheets for the guest room, as we are going to have a whole houseful of people, and I’m tired of the old ones in there. He pooh-pooh’d the idea, rolling his eyes and saying we didn’t need fancy sheets. The ones in there are good enough. They’re in good condition, so I agreed with him. I just wanted to get new ones if we found a good deal.
Now, for the record, I personally don’t care about the quality of the sheets in guest rooms that I frequent. I’m thankful for a bed. And sheets. They don’t have to be a certain thread-count. In fact, the sheets on our own bed aren’t of a super high-end quality. They’re soft and convenient and match the color scheme in the room.
As a wedding gift, we received a really nice set of satin sheets. We were both madly in love with them, but over the years, they wore out and have gone the way of the rag bag. And, in the winter, I put flannel sheets on our bed, because there isn’t anything better than nice snuggly flannel sheets on a cold winter’s night. Really nice sheets are just so expensive…and it’s a luxury that just isn’t on the top of our priority list.
So anyway, we’re in Target (pronounced Tar-jay in my head…just so you know), and we’ve found the perfect swimming pool. We didn’t spend nearly what we thought we were going to have to spend, so we decided to go ahead and splurge on a new set of guest sheets.
Claire had to use the potty, so while we were doing that, my hubby went in search of guest sheets.
When we were done, we saw him wandering around the Bedding Aisle. My hubby comes up to me with a Queen Set in his hand. “Look at these!” he says, showing me an awesome 450-count sheet set. “They are on a super-sale, and these are the last Queen Set!”
“Um, the guest bed is a Full…we have a Queen,” I said, admiring the fancy set.
“I know! Let’s see if we can find something similar in a Full for the guest room!” He was so excited. All of a sudden, he was singing a different tune. All of a sudden, getting new sheets wasn’t such a bad idea. “Feel these!! You have to feel these!” he said, unzipping the package so I could feel the luxurious softness. I’m not sure I should admit in a public forum just how excited he was at having nice sheets.
“Okay, show me where you found these,” I said, on a new mission.
“Well, that’s the thing. These were on a weird end-cap, and I’m having trouble finding a Full Set. Some are on sale, and some aren’t. This whole section is so confusing.”
So, I start searching. In the 300-count section, I happened upon a little notice from the management of Target. A certain style of 450-count sheets is gone, and they are to do an automatic substitution for a different style of 450-count sheet. Yes, this notice was in the 300-count section.
Still, I found a Full Set of 300-count and took it to the automatic scanner to see if it would ring up properly with the killer-sale price. It didn’t. It was ringing up as full-price.
Hmm. So, I found someone to help me. As I was talking to her, I found the 450-count display indicated in the little note that had been incorrectly posted in the 300-count section. They were marked at full-price. I found a Full Set and scanned it. It wasn’t coming up with the sale price indicated on the little note.
This clerk understood the situation, but she had no power to fix it. She got the manager to help me. This is when I started to feel like I was trapped in an alternate reality.
“I think your Automatic Substitution Notice is in the wrong section,” I said to the manager. “These are not ringing up as the sale price, but I think it’s because they are 300-count and not 450-count,” I said, pointing to the 300-count version. “And, these are ringing up as full-price, because they aren’t in the section with the little note,” I said, holding up the 450-count version.
“Well, it’s against store policy to move those notices once they are posted…” she said, obviously not understanding what I was saying.
“Even if it’s posted in the wrong place?” I asked.
“The notices have to apply to the shelves where they are posted,” she said again, still not getting it.
“I understand that,” I said, trying to be patient. “The notice is for 450-count, and all of these…” I said while gesturing to all of the 300-count sets. “…are 300-count. They’re not 450-count, so they won’t ring up at the 450-count sale price.”
“Ummm…”
Blank look.
Lots of blinking.
No comprehension, whatsoever.
“Someone put the sign in the wrong place,” I said again, wondering if I was actually speaking out loud and in English. “The 450-counts are in a different place,” I said again, this time walking her toward the end-cap again. “See? These are 450-count mentioned on the notice, but there is no special sign, and they are labeled as full-price, and because they don’t have the Automatic Substitution Notice posted here, they won’t ring up as the sale price.”
“And, you want the correct set at the sale price?”
“Yes, please,” Duh. (I didn’t say that last part out loud…but come on! No, I’d like the incorrect set at the full price. Geez.)
Was this so hard to understand? The store was closing in 45-minutes and today was the last day of the sale. Far be it from me to let this awesome sale-price go. I was prepared to go another round with her, but she surprised me by pulling the actual sign off of the 300-count shelf and handing it to me. “Pick the 450-count you want and take this sign to the register with you,” she said. She then gave me her name and said, “Tell them I said it was okay.”
Rock.
On.
So, the next day, I washed the sheets in anticipation of not only putting them on the guest bed and admiring how nice and luxurious it will be for our guests…but also how happy my hubby would be at such nice sheets on our bed.
But, to my dismay, they came out of the dryer so wrinkly! I even tried the Wrinkle Release Setting (which has yet to fail me), and they were still too wrinkly for my liking. My modest lower thread-count and a blend-of-whatever sheets never had this problem! Paying extra for sheets that require extra work just seems wrong to me…
Yes, they’re sheets. Yes, people hardly pay attention. Yes, I doubt anyone would really notice wrinkly sheets. I’m not even sure if any of the guest rooms I’ve stayed in had wrinkly sheets because I usually fall into bed exhausted. But, in this case, I’m making the bed, so I’d know they were wrinkly. I didn’t get a super good quality sheet (granted, they were on sale) to have the bed look unkempt.
Hmpf.
Which brings us to the short version of the above story:
I ironed the sheets.
And now you know I’m crazy.
The End.
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