By the glow of the laptop

It’s after midnight.  Daddy’s not here.  Claire is sleeping.  I am catching up on my blogs, watching saved shows on TiVO, and capturing my thoughts as they swirl around in my head.  These story ideas flow freely in the dark, by the glow of the laptop, the conversations of the TV characters humming in the background.

There is something magical about this time.  Time to myself is precious.  Yes, I love my husband and my baby girl.  She’s not really a baby anymore, and my hubby and I have existed in the same space and shared our lives for almost 12 years. I wouldn’t change a minute of it. Any of it.

It’s not that I’m an insomniac.  I could sleep if I wanted to.  And, if my hubby was here, I’d want to.  But, right now, when faced with the choice of a cold bed or a warm laptop, I’m choosing the latter.  There is just too much to watch, read, and write. Go to sleep and waste this precious opportunity?  No, thank you.

Unfortunately, morning comes when it comes, regardless of how much sleep I’ve had.

I know this, but I can’t stop myself.  I can’t shut the laptop.  I could, but I don’t want to.  Not yet.

I’m not ready yet.

Just a few more minutes…just a few more of these magical moments to myself makes it all worthwhile.