The last couple weeks have been stressful for Claire and me. Something shifted, and my sweet well-behaved little girl had started acting up in stores. All of a sudden, she would try to run around like crazy and cause general mayhem. This was just not like her! Is this a new stage? This is not good!
It got to where I dreaded going to the various stores. I had my incentives in place for her, but it seemed to be a crapshoot. She’d either be really good or really horrible, and either way, I was exhausted…because I’d be so concerned about when she was going to throw the next fit, or I’d be in the middle of dealing with one.
This was so not like her. This was not like me, and I didn’t like it one bit.
I’m working on our Holiday Letters, and this year, I’m doing something differently. I wanted to go to a local scrapbooking store to get some supplies. I’m not a scrapbooker, but this store had exactly what I needed. The thought of taking This Current Claire into this store was daunting. Have you ever been in a scrapbooking store? It’s full of tiny, wonderful pieces, and it’s all horribly distracting…and that’s for the adults! Just imagine what it’s like for a preschooler! 
But, I didn’t want to wait until Claire’s Young Preschooler Class to go without her, so I decided to bite the bullet and tackle the situation.
I was telling a friend on the phone about my plan for the day, when it hit me. Of course Claire was going to be naughty if that’s what I was expecting. Of course there would be issues if I was sure there were going to be issues!
What happened to the positive person I used to be? Where was my positive energy? And, more importantly, why did it take me almost two weeks to realize what had happened to me??
I made a change right there. I forced a total reboot of my brain. I had an absolute mental and emotional readjustment. I took a deep breath and exhaled, both physically and mentally.
We’d slipped. Claire was a really good baby. She was a really good toddler. I’d forgotten that being positive takes proactivity. Because she was so good, being positive was so easy. All of a sudden, she reaches a challenging stage (i.e. Almost Three) and I feed off of that negative energy and then dish some up for her. No wonder we were going a little batty!
(One could argue that she was a good baby and a good toddler because I was so positive…which may be true. Either way, it was a cycle that had gotten a little off kilter, so I had to get things back on track!)
So, I did it. I changed my way of thinking. I dusted off my Zen Master Notes and got back on track. I know it probably sounds silly to someone who has never been in-tune with energy types and levels. But, it’s true for me. It’s worked for me. It worked for us.
That afternoon, I told myself, both in my head and out loud, that we were going to have a great time at the store. I put the incentives in place (she’d get to hold the bag in the car if she was good in the store), and off we went. Note to self: I need to write about the different incentives we have in place. Stay tuned for a post on that!
It was like we were two different people. We were back to our old selves. The store experience was enjoyable. She was inquisitive and curious and really well-behaved. I let her touch the things she could touch, and reminded her to just look with her eyes at the things she shouldn’t touch. And, she listened. She only needed to be reminded a couple of times about her incentives.
And, you know what? She’s been good ever since. We still have a challenge every now and then, but my well-behaved little girl is back!
She’s the same person. I’m the same person. But, the energy has changed. Things are back on the positive track, and now I know to be vigilant about letting things slip. I have to remember that even when things are going well, I need to do a mental check.
These mental and emotional exercises are just as important as real exercise. For me, I equate them to the stretching I’m supposed to do for my back and hips. The stretching makes me feel so good that I start to think I no longer need to do it…and that’s just not the case. I stop doing the stretches, and after a while, the pain comes back, and I have to start over again. I have to remind myself to keep on keepin’ on.
I have to stick with what works, even if it’s working so well I forget that it’s working at all.
Okay, so, how did I even know to check my energy levels? Well, I used to be a worrier. I used to use negative energy to worry about anything and everything. One day, years and years ago, I realized that I had to stop the cycle I was in or I’d never be happy.
Out of the blue, years ago, a friend sent me this book. The timing was uncanny, and it was a real eye-opener. It resonated with me and my need to make a change in my outlook.
Click to enlarge.
Excuse Me, Your Life Is Waiting by Lynn Grabhorn
Yes, there are sticky notes tabbing the pages. I’ve used this book in presentations when I managed a sales team.
So, for years now, I’ve not worried. Don’t get me wrong: I’m not apathetic, and there is a difference. I still care and plan and organize and hope for the best, but the negative edge is gone. I don’t focus on what I don’t want. I focus on what I do want. It was shocking to me to realize that I was starting to slip back into my old ways. I was looking for negative things and then wondering why on earth I was finding them. Duh!
But, not all is lost, and it just takes a moment to get back on track. And we are. Things are calm and enjoyable and exciting again, and all in a good way. Now, I’m looking for all of the positive things that can happen when we’re out and about, and I’m finding them everywhere.
Funny how that works…
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