It’s NaBloPoMo Day 5!
Today’s confession: I tried to learn how to be patient, but it took way too long, so I gave that up. Now, I just pretend.
It’s true. I am not a patient person. I’m not. I want things done. I want things done now. I want things done correctly, and I want upwards of 94% success rate on all projects, real or imaginary. And, if they’re not perfect, I want you to want them to be perfect.
Is that so wrong? What’s wrong with perfection? It pains me to type something less than 100%, but I’m trying to be casual and realistic. What’s wrong with wanting perfection? Come on, slackers!
But, just like I remind Claire: What does Mick Jagger say?
We can’t always get what we want.
I’m slowly starting to accept this, or at least I’m getting better at pretending to accept it. Ever since having a child, I’ve gotten really good at pretending that I’m a patient person. People accuse me commend me all the time for how patient I am with Claire, how calm I remain in various situations.
And to those people I say, “Really? Cool! The façade and filter are still working; I’ll tell the engineers.”
Seriously. You can’t hear the screaming in my head? I mean, I know I’m not going to get perfection when it comes to a toddler or preschooler, so I consider the “journey toward learning how things are supposed to be done” to be the important part. (See how I justified that so nicely in my head? Whatever works, I say.) But, it’s the impatience that is driving me crazy. Hers and mine.
Every time I hear the voices in my head scream, “I want my child to learn how to be patient right now!” you probably hear me laughing. I love Irony. Irony makes me giggle.
The irony of the situation is not lost on me: Not only am I impatient about her being impatient, I understand her need to want things to be perfect, which feeds her impatience…and mine.
Wheeee! This is a fun ride! Look at us go!
So, that’s my confession for today. I may appear to be patient, but I’m not. It was taking too long, so I gave it up. Now, I just pretend. I can only hope that I’m a good enough pretender that Claire will think it’s normal to be a patient person.
And, yes, that laughing you hear is me.
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