Yesterday was one of those days. It was one of those days where tiny little things, as innocuous as single, solitary ants suddenly converge in a mass of creatures that can fell a rainforest.
In the midst of this, was Claire. All she really wanted was for me to help her tie tiny ribbon bows on tiny chicks made of bits of feather or fluffy balls. And, while you’re at it, can you please help glue together more chicks? She’s making a baby bird family, and they need a nest. Why couldn’t I just take a break and help her make a nest out of ribbons? Any good momma bird would do that for her baby chick.
I’d take a break every now and then to tie a bow or press two fluffy balls together with glue. I mean, it didn’t look like I was doing anything at all…that is the danger of working and playing on the same computer. Momma just sits there, typing. Who knows what she’s really doing over there.
Plus, Claire couldn’t see all the ants.
Dinner wasn’t even the relaxing time it normally is. Daddy had to work late; the project I was working on was teetering on the brink of disaster, and when it was finally time to get PJs on, I was at my wit’s end.
The proverbial camel’s back was heaving under the pressure. What would it be that broke it in two?
And right on cue, we got in a huge fight about something silly.
Actually, in my defense, it’s not silly. You can’t throw your glasses off in the middle of doing who knows what and not know where they go. They go in your glasses case. Anywhere other than than is a recipe for the crunching sound of delicate glasses, and that’s just not acceptable.
And how can you forget where you put them? How can you forget??
There were angry faces and short, curt tones.
There were tears.
There was the marching downstairs to tell Daddy what she’d done.
She was devastated, and I’ll be honest, part of me was glad. How terrible.
She was sobbing now, so ashamed that she’d done something terrible with her glasses.
And, all of a sudden, I came to my senses.
She’s four.
Yep, she’s four years old, even if she acts 14 going on 40 for most of the day. So far, four has been awesome, but it’s still four. She’s four, and they’re glasses.
She hasn’t had these glasses long at all, and although she remembers everything to the n-th degree, she’s four. She’s going to make mistakes. She’s going to forget things.
Even I had forgotten. I’d accidentally left my own Glasses of 110% Perfection on when I left my desk and tried to look at her with them…and that’s just not fair.
Yes, we spent 15 minutes looking for her glasses.
Yes, they could have been broken.
But, we found them, and they weren’t.
I apologized for getting upset with her. I explained why I was frustrated and apologized for taking it out on her. She apologized and promised to do better about remembering.
And, I promised to do better about remembering, too.
She’s four.
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Wow. I too need daily reminders that my kids are, well, kids. And I expect a lot from them because they usually live up to my expectations.
And the biggest reminder is remembering to apologize to our kids. Can’t expect them to be respectful if I don’t also show them respect.
The important thing is that you remembered.
Aw, I don’t even *have* kids and I teared up.
Awww. Aren’t we jerks sometimes?
Best words in any language… “I’m sorry.”
Sharing first place status would be, “Oh, it’s okay. I forgive you.”
This resonated with me very well, as I remember an incident long ago and far away. Only it was my mom who accidentally stepped on my glasses around the same age. I couldn’t understand why she was so mad…at herself. later, much later, “I knew you couldn’t see without them and I couldn’t imagine your four-year-old world without those much needed glasses even for the few days it took to replace them.”
It’s so easy to forget when they start acting like adults. We forget they still need us even though they pretend not to until drama hits or they get hurt. At least you apologized instead of making it all her fault.