Grief

We’re home from the hardest trip we’ve ever had to make. It was a whirlwind trip, and all of the days are a blur. What day is today? Thursday?

As you may know, my nephew was killed in a car accident, and we made an emergency trip back to Iowa. Grandma was out here with us (on her WONDERFUL vacation!) when this happened, so we did what we could to get moving in a different direction. We got her back to the airport a day earlier than anticipated, and then we started our own 11+ hour roadtrip.

Sunday afternoon, for almost 4 hours, we greeted over 400 people, most of which waited 1.5 hours in line to cry with us. (If you were there in person, thank you. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.) I didn’t think it was possible to cry so hard for so long, and yet the tears still come. Sunday night was spent out at my sister’s reminiscing and laughing at old stories, even though our hearts were broken.

I thought Sunday was the hardest day, until Monday got here. I’ve heard estimates of 500 people at the funeral service, but we were so overcome with grief to even fathom a guess. The procession to Our Silent City in Kellogg was long, and the reverence paid to our procession line, by everyone stopping along the highway was amazing. The internment, followed by the balloons lifting on the breeze? No words.

The luncheon was another place to reconnect with people I’d not seen in years. If there’s a silver lining it’s that I got to see SO MANY PEOPLE, AND my favorite Great Aunt who is just shy of 102! Yes, really. She doesn’t look a day over 80 if you ask me.

Thank you to everyone who has shown support to my sister’s family and to all of us. Our lives will never be the same, but time has a way of marching forward whether or not we’re ready.

The High School added Trenton's Football Jersey number (52) to the statue out front. This is a shot of it during the day.

The High School added Trenton’s Football Jersey number (52) to the statue out front. This is a shot of it during the day.

And this is a shot of the memorial at night, with the red lights.

And this is a shot of the memorial at night, with the red lights.

This has hit Claire pretty hard. She added clover and peonies to the roses from the casket. She thought Trenton would get a kick out of that.

This has hit Claire pretty hard. She added clover and peonies to the roses from the casket. She thought Trenton would get a kick out of that.

We placed this flowers here in honor of Trenton. This dirt road continues from the gravel intersection where the accident happened.

These flowers were at the funeral, and we placed them here in honor of Trenton. This dirt road continues from the gravel intersection where the accident happened, and you can see the sunset. Hours upon hours of my childhood were spent here, and it’s with great sadness that we returned.

Note: Because I have my own child’s grief to help manage, we were able to do some “fun” things while on this impromptu trip. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting pictures. In the meantime, you can see a sneak peek here: ThisJoAnn on Instagram.

2 Responses to “Grief”


  • J, K, and C, and family,
    We cry with you over the terrible loss of Trenton. Please know you all are in our healing prayers as we all hug our own children a little longer today. A reminder that nothing is certain… We love you guys. Please know we are here for you. Tracey

  • JoAnn, I am so sorry to read about your loss. I hope the time you spent surrounded with family helped through this hard time. Sending love.

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