Archive for the 'Conversations' Category

Food for thought.

“I could never be a Buddhist,” Claire said today during lunch.

“Why is that?” I asked. Her statement really didn’t surprise me. She’s learning about Buddhism in school right now. Her public charter school is great about teaching them aspects of world religions.

“Well, they’re vegetarians!” she exclaimed.

“So?” I asked, wondering where she would go with this.

“I love bacon WAY TOO MUCH to even THINK about being a vegetarian!” she said.

I laughed. “True,” I said. “Me, too.”

“They don’t believe in killing any living creature,” she added. “Not even BAD GUYS!”

I nodded.

“…but you know what?” she said, a light dawning behind her eyes. “If everyone believed in not killing, I bet there wouldn’t be very many bad guys TO kill.”

The profundity discovered by an almost-8-year old nearly took my breath away.

“Hmm,” she added, still thinking. “…but I DO love bacon.”

This Rivals Who’s On First

We’ve been invited to a Sundae Party at the Park on Saturday. What follows is only part of the funniest conversation I’ve had with my husband in a LONG time. This went on for entirely too long, and it makes me laugh just thinking about it:

Him: Are these toppings for Sunday?

Me: No. They’re for Saturday.

Him: I thought you needed these toppings for ice cream?

Me: I do.

Him: For Sundaes? (Which he mumbled.)

Me: Right, these toppings are for the Sundaes, so we can’t eat them until tomorrow.

Him: But tomorrow is Saturday. Right? Today is Friday. Tomorrow is Saturday.

Me: Right. It IS. These are for the Sundae Party at the Park tomorrow!

Him: I just asked if these toppings were for Sunday, and you said NO!

Me: *aaaaahhhh*

Claire-isms from a 7.5 year old

I love recording Claire-isms. Here are some of the latest!

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m not a big fan of Miso Soup. To me, it always tastes like feet.”
Claire: “Maybe that’s because it has Toe-Food in it!”

“I was accidentally breathing in whistle position!” says Claire, who was NOT whistling on purpose, just so you know.

“…and then the Art Teacher cut everyone’s duct-tape. I wanted to cut my OWN duct-tape, but you know how it goes. Let one person cut duct-tape and then EVERYONE wants to cut duct-tape. Plus, she has no idea I’m an expert at duct-tape.” ~Claire, 7.5yo, Duct-Tape Expert

The reason they’re called Monkey Bars.

Despite Evidence to the Contrary, They Don’t…

Claire: “What’s that beeping noise?”

Me: “That’s a special tone that lets blind people know when the lights have changed.”

Claire: “I didn’t know they let blind people drive. That explains A LOT.”

Luck o’ the Irish

A conversation we had this morning at breakfast:

Daddy: “Claire, today, be sure to find a Leprechaun and make him tell you where he hides his gold. I’d LOVE to get my hands on some extra gold.”

Momma: “Oh, Claire would be good at that. She’s very charming.”

Claire: “Maybe he could come live with us!”

Momma: “Oh! That’s a great idea! Maybe he can be our cook!”

What. We all have our dreams.

Orange ya glad you don’t smell like oranges?

I’m constantly writing notes and observations to myself: blog topics, funny things Claire does or says, plot twists for my book.

The easiest way for me to do this is to email myself. Then, when I have the time to focus on them, I either use them or file them away.

Today is the day that I address the one I sent to myself on August 29th. Yes, of 2010. We were in San Francisco, and I’d just given Claire a bath. Rather than lug all of our toiletries with us, we were using the shampoo provided by the hotel. This is sometimes a gamble, but it definitely paid off at this location.

This hotel was niiiiice. I may or may not have stuffed all the little unused bottles of these toiletries in my suitcase to take home. No, I’m not becoming my inlaws, so stop looking at me like that.


As I’m lathering up her hair, she starts to complain, which is odd, because she normally likes this part of the routine.

“Uggggghhhhh!” she says, sputtering.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“This shampoo does NOT smell like princesses!” she shouts, the displeasure of the whole situation crinkling her own delicate princess nose.

“What do princesses smell like?” I ask.

“Well, they DON’T smell like ORANGES.”

I guess you had to be there, but it struck me as so funny and I couldn’t stop laughing. Not sure what princesses smell like? Well, we’ve started to narrow it down… 🙂

Limits DO have two ends, and the signs are NOT specific.

Yesterday, Claire and I drove out to have lunch with one of my long-time friends. She works waaaay out east now, and as we were zipping along, I noticed that the speed limit had changed.

“Woo hoo! I forgot the speed limit is 75 out here!” I said with glee.

“75??” says Claire. She always asks me the speed limit, but she’s used to hearing answers like 35 or 45.

Then, in the same excited tone, she says, “That means you can’t go slower than 75?”

That’s my girl.

Look out, Juilliard!

Yesterday, Claire and I were going to take a little break and watch the latest episode of So You Think You Can Dance.  Because of her fondness for all things Ballet and Dance-related, we enjoy this show.

We were having lunch and talking about our plan for the afternoon.  That’s when she turned and looked at me.

“You know,” she says in all seriousness.  “If I was on that show, it wouldn’t be called that.  It would be called, ‘I KNOW I Can Dance.'”


Well, I can say one thing: What she lacks in years of experience, she makes up for in confidence!


And I’ll never look at a pit toilet the same way again.

This is one of my favorite pictures from our camping weekend!

This last weekend, in honor of Father’s Day Weekend, and in honor of Daddy Isn’t On Call Weekend, and in honor of The Weather Promises to Be Awesome Weekend, we packed it up, packed it in and let it begin…

…we went camping!

The weather was perfect!

This time, we headed to locales to the northwest of us and tried out a new area.  When we go camping with other families, we wander off into the woods and live deliberately (i.e. without pit toilets), but this time, because we found an awesome spot when we got to where we were going, we tried out an official campground.

The campsite was just the right size for us!  (And relatively private for a “real” campground.)

The upside to sharing the area with other campers is the pit toilet.  The downside to sharing the area with the other campers is the pit toilet.

You never know what you’re going to get with a pit toilet.  Pit toilets are always a crapshoot.  Literally.

I’m sorry.  I just couldn’t resist!

I must say, however, at this campground, the pit toilets were some of the cleanest I’ve seen.

On one of our numerous trips there, Claire got really excited.

“You know what, Momma!?”

“What, sweetheart?”

“This is just like going to the bathroom in a CASTLE!!!”

I couldn’t help but laugh.  We had been reading a book about castles that my mom and dad gave her, and one of the pictures they have in there is of the garderobe.  (That’s a fancy name for the “toilet” they used in the castle.)

“Yes!” I agreed.  “Yes, it is!”

“Only we don’t have a curtain,” she said.

“This is true.  We just have a door…but no curtain.”

“Do you know the best part??”

“What’s that?” I asked, wondering where this was headed.

“When I pee or poop, it goes in the SAUCE-PIT!”

“Sauce-pit?” I asked.  “Oh!  Yes!  It goes in the cesspit!”  I knew what she was trying to say a split-second after she said it.

I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard in a pit toilet in my life.

Knock Knock

Claire: Knock Knock

Me: Who’s there?

Claire: Banana

Me: Banana who?

Claire: Banana Owl!

At first, I laughed to be polite, but then the punch line hit me and I laughed for real. Get it? A banana that says “who” must be an owl!

…specifically a Banana Owl.


I love 4-year olds.