Archive for the 'From the offline blog' Category

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Belly on up to the trough!

Published on Thursday, July 5, 2007 in Claire, Fourth of July, From the offline blog, Language, Parenting 101 and Random Thoughts. 0 Comments

We are gluttons. If there is one thing inherent in being from the Midwest, it’s knowing how to celebrate with food. “Belly on up to the trough!” was not only the command of the evening, it was a pretty good description of the night’s events. Yes, that whole phrase can be used as a verb. Trust me.

Neither Momma nor Daddy felt like rolling away from the table to go see fireworks, and we figured that Claire is too little to feel slighted anyway. We opted to watch the New York ones on TV instead.

Plus, we got a front and center show to the ones bursting right over our roof.

One of our neighbors needs his head examined, and he’s actually lucky my powers weren’t in full force last night, or he would have “blown himself up.” Because, that’s what I wished upon him…out loud. I understand that patriotism is important, but is it really important at 2am? On both the wee hours of the 4th AND the 5th? Seriously, dude. Knock it off, already.

Oh, and in case you didn’t hear me last night over all the loud explosions, “Happy 231st Birthday, America! You don’t look a day past 229, honest!”

In preparation for our trip – Alternate Sleeping Option Part II

Published on Wednesday, July 4, 2007 in Claire, From the offline blog, Language, Milestones, Parenting 101, Sleep and Travel. 0 Comments

I tried again to get Claire to sleep in the pack-n-play. It’s still in our room, because I haven’t moved it to my office. (Again, it’s still toasty in here, and the pack-n-play is conveniently *this much larger* than the doorway. So, I’d have to disassemble it to move it. And, I’m lazy today.)

So, this morning, Claire told me it was time to go Nighty-Night (for her nap). Yes, my toddler tells me when it’s time for her nap. I’m sorry. Maybe I wasn’t Genghis Khan in a former life after all? Anyway…I take her in to our room and show her the pack-n-play. She’s very confused as to why I’m doing this, when she’s clearly asked to go Nighty-Night, and that means in her crib. Duh, woman, pay attention.

I keep telling her that Monkey and Puppy want to go Nighty-Night in there, but she won’t believe me. She keeps telling me ‘no’ and keeps begging to go Nighty-Night.

I tell her to have a good nap, and I leave the room. She’s sobbing and begging. Finally, after a few minutes, she quiets down, and I think we’ve made a big step! She’s in there and not crying! Just at that moment, Daddy pulls up in the driveway from his mission to the grocery store. (Our bedroom is over the garage and looks out over the driveway.)

Sure enough, she’s up and hollering again. Neither one of us could get her to quiet down, so we gave up and put her in her crib. She instantly rolled over and fell asleep. I know, I know…how horrible.

If I can’t get her to sleep in the pack-n-play, I’m not sure what we’ll do. We looked last night for tents (online at every store imaginable), and they are either too big, too small, have the wrong doorway enclosure or not enough mesh for ventilation. Our options are wearing thin.

I think we’ll take the pack-n-play to the Midwest and if it works, it works. If it doesn’t, she can sleep with us….

She’s just in this in-between stage where she’s too small for a big bed and too big for pretty much all other options. Next year, traveling will be much easier…I hope!

In preparation for our trip – Alternate Sleeping Option Part I

Published on Tuesday, July 3, 2007 in Claire, From the offline blog, Milestones, Parenting 101, Sleep and Travel. 0 Comments

I can’t wait for our trip to Santa Fe in August.

One of our friends is letting us borrow their pack-n-play as an alternate sleeping location option for Claire. We used to travel with the PeaPod, an incredible pop-up like tent contraption. It was awesome, because it packs up so small and is incredibly light. It worked when she was littler, but now that her head touches the top of the tent, she freaks out. And, really, who can sleep with all the screaming?

I still can’t get Claire to sleep in the pack-n-play, but for the record, I haven’t really tried extremely hard. She won’t sleep in it if she can see her crib, so I’ve moved it into our room. I half-heartedly tried today, and gave up.

I would put it in my office, but we don’t have the a/c unit in here yet, and it’s too hot. Plus, on the trip, odds are, the pack-n-play will be in with our bed anyway, so it should be a relatively realistic test. We’re also going to look at some tent options tonight and see if we can find something that has a lot of mesh and is taller than the PeaPod.

We’ll use the trip to the Midwest as a test run for whatever option we choose and adjust as necessary.

We still have a little less than two weeks to figure it out. I’m a little leery of putting her through a lot of trauma right now, at least until she has the stitches out. But I’m sure we’ll figure something out. Neither Daddy nor Momma wants to share a bed with Claire, because she does so well in her crib. That will be the very last option, I guess. So, that’s why we’re trying desperately to find an alternate option. I should be thankful she sleeps so well in her crib. She begs to sleep in her crib. Some people would give major body parts for that to happen with their own children.

Add this to the list of things I wished I didn’t know.

Published on Tuesday, July 3, 2007 in Are you bleeding?, Drama, From the offline blog and Parenting 101. Closed

We all know that you’re supposed to use cold water when removing blood stains from clothing, but did you know that you can use “Woolite PetStain & Odor Remover +Oxygen” to get human blood out of your carpet?

Just use cold water, some of this spray and a little tiny bit of elbow grease. No, this is not an officially endorsed usage for the above product.

Also? The sales person who sold us the chair and the couch said it was made of this incredible fabric that would resist stains, and that there wasn’t a stain we wouldn’t be able to remove.

Apparently, blood isn’t on the exceptions list! The fabric on our pillows and furniture is officially AWESOME.

You can’t even tell anything happened in the living room, let alone something that involved three or four firefighters and two paramedics.

Residual traumatic images

Published on Tuesday, July 3, 2007 in Are you bleeding?, Claire, Drama, From the offline blog, Parenting 101 and Random Thoughts. 0 Comments

I’m just now finally starting to get the image of the impact of Claire’s accident out of my head. It was the most awful thing I’ve seen in real life. Quentin Tarantino would have been impressed with the aftermath in our living room. When people say head wounds bleed a lot, they mean it!

Breaking News! This just in…

Published on Monday, July 2, 2007 in Claire, From the offline blog and Parenting 101. 0 Comments

Missing: One Barbie Band-Aid
Description: Hot pink

One hot pink Barbie Band-Aid has disappeared. Band-Aid was last seen on forehead of toddler prior to and during afternoon nap. Band-Aid disappeared sometime during afternoon nap, and all attempts to locate said Band-Aid have failed.

Searchers have scoured the entire crime scene, and no trail has been located. They fear the worst. The diaper changing crew has been put on full alert and will notify the authorities if a gruesome discovery is indeed found in the next couple of days.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program, already in progress…

A reluctant expert

Published on Monday, July 2, 2007 in Are you bleeding?, Drama, From the offline blog and Parenting 101. 0 Comments

My sister (who actually has FOUR boys) jokingly called me an amateur. I told her I don’t care. I don’t want to become an expert at handling bloody & gross situations. I found out that I can keep relatively calm in an emergency and react appropriately, and that’s all that matters. I don’t need tons of hands-on practice to hone my skills. Isn’t that why we have movies and the Internet?

Speaking of being calm, when they got to the house, the firefighters made me sit down, because I was shaking! I didn’t even realize I was. It wasn’t until Claire was asleep that night that I finally broke down and let myself cry. It felt so good to release all that pent-up emotional energy.

My sister said that she’s shocked by the things that don’t bother her anymore. If I had that many kids, I guess something would have to give, and it would be my sanity!

Head of steel

Published on Sunday, July 1, 2007 in Are you bleeding?, Claire, Conversations, Drama, From the offline blog and Parenting 101. 0 Comments

“Claire, don’t run. Your head isn’t made of steel,” says Daddy.

“Actually, I think it is made of steel; it just happens to be covered with something soft and full of blood,” Momma mutters under her breath.

Gross

Published on Sunday, July 1, 2007 in Are you bleeding?, Claire, Drama, From the offline blog and Random Thoughts. 0 Comments

At least they’re blue stitches. I’ve always thought black stitches looked like fly legs.

Not quite what we had in mind…

Published on Sunday, July 1, 2007 in Claire, From the offline blog, Language, Milestones and Parenting 101. 0 Comments

“Okay, Claire. We’ll let you down out of your highchair, but you have to try to walk, not run. Do you remember how to walk?

Claire quickly stomps her feet up and down on the footrest of her highchair and screams, “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

“Um, nope. That’s not quite it.”