Archive for the 'Parenting 101' Category

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Reverse Psychology is just another name for Trickery, and I’m okay with that.

Published on Thursday, September 24, 2009 in Claire, Conversations and Parenting 101. 2 Comments Tags: , , , .

“Claire…” I say, looking at the clock. “Do you know what time it is?”

“No……..” she says slyly. She knows what time it is.

“Claire, it’s time for you to go mow the yard!”

“No, it’s not!” she screams, bursting into laughter.

“It’s time for you to go wash the car?”

“No, it’s not!” she screeches again.

“I know! It’s time for you to do all the laundry!”

“No!” she says again with a smile. “It’s time for me to go to bed!”

“It is?” I say with mock incredulity. “What? Are you sure?”

“Yes! It’s time for me to go to bed!”

“Well, that’s a great idea, Claire!”

It’s hard to resist a suggestion you came up with all on your own, wouldn’t you say? ;)

He has a day off from his job, but not mine.

Published on Monday, September 7, 2009 in Parenting 101. 3 Comments Tags: , .

Today, in honor of Labor Day, my husband has the day off from work.  We have a reservation at the local jumpy castle place to meet some friends and let the kids bounce for an hour-and-a-half.

This will be the first time that Daddy has gone with us, and Claire is SO excited to show him what to do.  I am glad he’s going with us, because I fell yesterday while on a little adventure and really hurt my knee.  I’m not sure there will be any jumping from Momma today.

It will be nice to share the jumpy castle duties today with Daddy.

Daddy, on the other hand, will either think that my day job is too cushy, or he’ll understand why I’m a bit crazy.

Mondays aren’t so bad if you’re a ballerina.

Published on Monday, August 31, 2009 in Ballet, Claire, Fun, Parenting 101 and Photos. 6 Comments Tags: , , .

Mondays are a good day around here. Mondays mean we get to go to Ballet. And, by “we,” I mean Claire gets to go dance, and I get to go watch her on the TV monitor.

Today marks her third class, and she loves it!

First Day of Ballet!

First Day of Ballet!

The parents are not allowed back in the dance room, so we’re relegated to sitting out in the waiting room and watching on a large black and white TV monitor. The screen is split into four sections, so that regardless of where our little ballerinas are standing (or twirling), we’ll be able to see them.

Claire picked out her own leotard and shoes. This is a class through our Rec Center, so they aren’t as stringent on the clothing rules as the “real” ballet schools are. She wanted the hot-pink butterfly one, so that’s the one she got. We both thought the black ballet shoes went well with her ensemble.

I tied her hair up in a ponytail and then tried not to cry.

Just like Claire, I was really excited for the first class to get here. The fact that I needed to hold back tears startled me. My baby is isn’t a baby anymore, and I’m happy about that. But there was just something about watching her follow the teacher’s direction on the screen that nearly made me lose it. She’s like this little girl now…

But, I kept it together, and none of the other moms were the wiser.

She LOVED the class, and she did really well!  She did so well, in fact, that the teacher asked me afterward which other Ballet Classes she’s been in. I was shocked. This was her first Ballet Class. She’s been dancing around the house en pointe for a long time now, and when she asked to take classes, we had to wait for her age to match the criteria.

The teacher told me that she knows the ballet positions already. She showed her once, and she got it…just like that.

I don’t even know the Ballet Positions. In fact, I had to have a friend tell me that what Claire was doing by dancing on the tops of her toes actually had a name (the en pointe I mentioned above…)

Apparently one of the skeletons in our closet is that of a famous Ballerina?

So, we’re going to foster this. She loves it, and she’s really good at it. I’m not enrolling her in a daily routine at a hard-core school, but we are going weekly from now until December. When she’s a bit older, she can decide how much she wants to pursue this.

In the meantime, she’s trying to teach me all her moves…and we actually look forward to Mondays. :)

The monkeys’ doctor is right!

Published on Friday, August 7, 2009 in Are you bleeding?, Claire and Parenting 101. 6 Comments Tags: .

It’s Thursday afternoon. I’m sitting in my office, and Claire is in her room.

All of a sudden, I hear the unmistakable KUH-BLOOM-BAH-DUM sound of someone tumbling off the bed.

You know that sound.

I just knew she’d fallen off the bed, and from the proximity of the sound, it was off the end of her bed. At least, I was hoping it wasn’t over her rail. Either way, the fall isn’t too far…but still. It’s not a sound you like to hear.

I’m up in a flash, in the 0.5 seconds it takes to get to her room, she’s standing there crying. I scoop her up and run to the kitchen. I have the freezer door open and an icepack on her head in one smooth motion.

We’re experts at this routine.

All the while, I’m telling her it will be okay.

“What happened!?” I say, as we get settled into the closest kitchen chair.

“I fell off my bed,” she says between sobs.

“What did you land on?”

“The floor.”

And it was all I could do to stifle my laughter. Really? The floor? With such a literal answer, she is definitely my daughter!

“I know you landed on the floor, sweetie. I mean what body part did you land on the hardest?” I ask, looking for blood.

“My head.”

Good. I’d guessed correctly and already had an icepack on her head.

“What were you doing that made you fall off your bed?”

“I was hanging upside down.”

Again, I have to bite my tongue. She was hanging upside down!? From what!? And, she admitted this out loud!?

“Well, that’s why you fell on your head! You shouldn’t hang upside down off your bed.”

“I shouldn’t?” she said, genuinely confused. “Oh, you’re right, Momma! The monkey’s doctor** DID say no more monkeys hanging off the bed!”

“And now you know why…”

“Yeah!  You really DO fall on your head!”

**The other day at the StoryTime at the library, the theme was monkeys. One of the books they read was about the famous “no more monkeys jumping on the bed!” routine…only it involved all kinds of other naughty things monkeys do. And, yes, hanging off the bed also resulted in a monkey falling on her head. How apropos.

All the better to kiss you with…

Published on Tuesday, July 14, 2009 in Claire, Parenting 101 and Photos. 4 Comments Tags: , , .

If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you may have seen this update:

“It’s really hard for me to take you seriously w/all that lipstick on your face.” Wow, that conversation came a LOT earlier than anticipated

And…

Claire keeps sneaking more of her diva lipstick. She now looks more like a clown than a princess. She CLAIMS she didn’t use more. Busted!

Well, here is the photo that goes along with them:

Yes, this is lipstick. In my defense, it’s “diva lipstick” made for little girls. It was part of her Flower Girl Gift Bag Extravaganza that she got for being in the wedding in Las Vegas. I’ve let her use some of my lipgloss (subtle…very subtle lipgloss!) in the past, and I really don’t have the energy to get into a “when can little girls wear makeup” discussion.

I just think this picture (and situation) is hilarious! (And, I dare you to look at that photo and not think, “Whatchoo talkin’ ’bout, Willis!?”) :)

Now, in her defense, she did keep the lipstick somewhat near the vicinity of her lips…and you can’t really see the full view.

But, she did fib about it. That’s the look she gave me when I told her I *could tell* that she’d been sneaking more lipstick. Busted!

Time will tell how well she improves…on the application technique AND the fibbing. ;)

For now, she’s allowed to wear it, but only with supervision. I help her put it on, and we make sure it doesn’t glow in the dark.

Screaming Bloody Murder

Published on Friday, June 19, 2009 in Claire and Parenting 101. 12 Comments Tags: , .

This morning, a police cruiser did not stop by my house. A kind, good samaritan neighbor did not come knocking. No one even checked to see if we were okay.

From the outside, you would have thought a murder was being committed. The screaming, the high-pitched wails, the sounds of a ruckus, were a sure sign.

Did anyone notice? No.

Surely all this screaming is indicative of something dreadful, right?

Of a murder? Of some form of attack?

No.

It was just time to put clothes on and go to the park.

Did you know that a skirt and shirt outfit is not the same as a dress? You did? So did I, but I don’t care. The dress a certain someone wanted to wear was dirty, and silly ol’ me thought a skirt and shirt combo would suffice.

I was wrong.

I could take this time to explain the intricate details to you, about how I really didn’t have a choice in the matter because we were already running late, but you’d shake your head and wonder how something as simple as an outfit could cause such strife. Unless you’ve been there, you really have no idea.

In the end, I won the battle. She put on the clothes and continued the full-blown meltdown in the car. I couldn’t threaten to take away this playdate for her behavior, because she needed this playdate. I needed this playdate.

By the time we got to the park, no one could tell that there’d been a terrible crime committed at our house. I just hope I can get all this blood out of the carpet.

;)

I’m not falling for her tricks

Published on Friday, April 17, 2009 in Claire, Conversations and Parenting 101. 0 Comments Tags: , .

Claire is asking to do something crazy.  This isn’t entirely out of character. In fact, she asks to do crazy stuff all day long.  I actually let her do some (okay, most…) of the crazy stuff, but I have to use my judgment.

“Momma? Can I have Maple Syrup on my Goldfishies?”

“Uh, no.”

“Momma? Can I give Puppy a bath in the sink?”

“Uh, no.”

“Momma? Can I put real milk in this cup for Daisy?”

“Uh, no.”

These are just snippets of the conversations, but you get the idea. Normally, she follows up with an inquisition as to why she can’t do whatever she’s asked to do, and I give her good, solid answers. I usually follow it up with a good idea for something she can do instead.

But, we’ve reached a new stage in the game.

“Hey!” Claire screeches with that mischievous glint in her eye. “I have an idea!!”

Oh, this is gonna be good…I wonder what it is this time?

“Why don’t I say, “No!” and you say “YES!!”

I give her points for creativity and the usage of reverse psychology, but I’m not falling for her tricks. :)

How long before she charges me a babysitting fee?

Published on Thursday, March 26, 2009 in Claire, Conversations and Parenting 101. 2 Comments Tags: , .

“Don’t forget to come home early tomorrow. I have Moms’ Night Out!” I said to my husband, while trying to contain my pure glee.

“Mmm hmmm. It’scuzyoudon’tloveme…” he mumbled, our inside joke barely audible under his breath.

“It’s okay, Daddy!” Claire said cheerfully and with dramatic concern, as she ran over to him. “I’ll be here with you!”

I laughed.

He thanked Claire and gave her a hug and a kiss.

Then, she rubbed his arm and looked at me.

“I’ll take good care of Daddy while you’re gone, Momma. Don’t worry.”

:)

Adjustments for the Internet Age

Published on Tuesday, March 24, 2009 in Claire, Conversations and Parenting 101. 4 Comments Tags: , , .

The other day, Claire and I were in the office. I was typing on the computer, and Claire was typing on hers.

That’s when she told me that she was talking to Cesar Millan on her computer. She said, “He said, ‘Oh, Hi, Claire! Are you typing on your blog?’ and I told him, ‘yes, I am!’”

Then, she and Cesar carried on quite a conversation.

I think it’s important to note that her “computer” is just an old keyboard and mouse sitting in front of a wooden puzzle “monitor,” and she’s not connected to the Internet. She’s just pretending. For now.

Note to Future Self: Adjust the “never talk to strangers, even if they’re going to show you cute little puppies in the back of a white van” speech to include the dangers of online strangers talking about puppies.

No offense, Cesar.

And then I jumped.

Published on Thursday, March 12, 2009 in Anniversaries, It's a paycheck, Milestones and Parenting 101. 2 Comments Tags: , .

A year ago today I stood at the edge and looked over the side.  I’d been to a similar cliffside many times in the past, and I’d jumped with no problems.

I’d always landed with perfect form.  Every move calculated, the result expected and achieved.

But this time was different.  I wasn’t going to be leaping toward something tangible.

The excitement of the unknown not only threatened to eat me alive, it made me feel more alive than I ever had.

The urge to jump was overwhelming.

So, what was holding me back?

I’d done all my research, the Pros to Jumping weighing so much more than the Cons that it nearly pulled me over the edge.

I didn’t want to be pushed.
I wanted to jump.
There’s a difference.

It took all my strength to stand there, the different choices blowing about me like the winds coming up from the canyon floor.

The sun was shining warm on my back.
The breeze was blowing softly on my face.
My heart lit up with a smile, and my head started to breathe.

And then I jumped.