The Casual Perfectionist

As you’ve noticed in the some of the newest pictures of Claire, she got glasses! Her glasses have become a permanent fixture in my life for a couple months now, so when we see people we haven’t seen in a while, and they’re taken aback by the glasses, it surprises me.

Oh, that’s right! Claire got glasses!

So, how did this happen?

I finally have a moment to tell the story, so here it is.

Claire turned 4-years old at the end of November. We had her 4-year Well Visit scheduled for the very first part of December. On my list of questions for the pediatrician was a question about when to get her eyes tested.

1. Yes, of course I have a list of questions for the pediatrician.
2. Don’t you know me by now?
3. I mean, this is even written in list form.
4. But, no, I wasn’t noticing anything wrong or worrisome about Claire and her eyesight.
5. Claire had been covered under our Eye Insurance since she turned 3-years old, and I was just curious when one goes in to have her eyes tested.

After the nurse comes to the door of the waiting room and calls for us, she gets Claire’s weight and height (side note: I remember so vividly when she was listed as a length and not a height! Times have changed…). Then, the nurse has Claire stand at a point in the carpeted hallway and has her hold a black spatula-type thing over one eye and look at a bizarro chart at the end of the hallway.

So, now is when they check the eyesight. I can cross that off my list!

Claire did not understand the importance of holding a weird black plastic thing over one eye. I mean, who can see that way? Isn’t it much easier not to hold something over your eye? You could tell she thought the nurse was wacky, but she agreed to play along with this crazy game.

And, then, the pictures on the eye chart were just bizarre. They looked like stick-figure renditions of Japanese symbols. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And, I know most newly 4-year olds don’t recognize letters, but Claire can. Even I was a bit confused by what was there.

Still, she read off a couple lines on the chart. Then, the nurse had her try the third line, and she started to get antsy. She didn’t want to do this test any more. She didn’t like holding the black plastic spatula any more. The nurse said that was fine and scribbled some figures down on the piece of paper in Claire’s chart.

She told me that Claire was “within levels.” She also said that at this age it’s hard to tell what is an eyesight issue and what is an attitude issues. She said this in a way that didn’t offend me in the least.

Still, this wasn’t like Claire….but I wasn’t going to worry about it, and to be honest, I didn’t even think about the eye test anymore as the nurse ushered us into an exam room to wait for the doctor.

He comes in and does Claire’s exam. It was an excellent exam, and it’s always nice to get reassurance that everything is going well. He’s flipping through her chart and gets to the eye test.

“So, when did you get your glasses,” he asks me.

“Oh, I got mine when I was in 5th Grade, because I couldn’t see the chalkboard,” I said. Wow…I’ve had them since 1985, for those of you playing along at home.

“Well…” he said. “Whenever we see borderline results like this on our rudimentary test, and a parent had glasses as a child, we suggest you go to an eye doctor and have a real exam.”

He explained that lots of parents miss eye problems in children, and if it’s something that can be corrected, awesome! If it’s nothing, we’ll figure that out too! I agreed with him and made a note to call our eye doctor for an appointment.

Later that week, I took Claire in to see our eye doctor. She is great, and I really like her.

She was awesome with Claire, and Claire was very comfortable with her. They’re going through the exam, and Claire gets to the same part on the chart that had caused her troubles in the doctor’s office, and she gets really quiet. She starts acting really nervous and doesn’t want to continue.

This is just not like her!

The doctor swings the big mechanical arm of that eye testing gismo and places it in front of Claire. She does some flipping and clicking of the little hinged lenses. (Little kids are too young to choose between One or Two…or One or Two…or One or Two… so the doctor worked her magic from her end.) She gets done clicking and glides her chair out of the way.

“Okay, Claire,” she says. “What about now? Tell me what you see on that like now?”

And Claire aces it.

The doctor looks at me and said, “Well, Mom. Claire needs glasses!”

And that’s right about when I tried really hard not to burst into tears. The doctor and I had a chat about it, in a way that Claire had no idea that I was upset. Her eyes are borderline. They may get better, or they may get worse. They won’t get better without the help of glasses, and if the eye doctor’s daughter had similar numbers, she’d be wearing glasses.

That was enough convincing for me…but I still had to choke back my true reaction.

Okay, so here’s the deal. I’ve had glasses for 25 years. In fact, I really don’t remember life before glasses.  I have memories of those times, but I don’t remember what it was like to not wear glasses.  I’m totally fine with having glasses, and I’ve never had the desire to wear contacts or go for surgery (I’m not a candidate anyway…), so why was this so upsetting for me?

Because Claire is still my baby, and I don’t want her to be forced to deal with things that could cause her strife. Having glasses is hard, and it’s hard work. There are lenses to keep clean. There are glasses to keep from being broken. There are people out there who don’t think glasses are as cool as I think they are. Little kids will latch on to something and make merciless fun of the victim. I’ve been there.

I mean, everyone in my family knows what “Red Booger Buttons” are and why I was devastated that my friends called my sweater buttons that in Elementary School. Also? I had to wear “Brown Knobby Shoes.” (Please don’t make me describe them to you.)  The horror!

Glasses just adds another whole dimension to the complication that is childhood. I was hoping she’d have her dad’s eyes and be spared glasses. Or, at least she’d be old enough to fend for herself.  (If she wants contacts when she’s older, I’m not opposed.  It will be up to her.)

I had kids try to tell me that I had four eyes, which makes no sense at all, and I told them so. These are the same kids who were told in no uncertain terms (by me) that carrot tops are GREEN. Duh. Therefore, the ones calling me a four-eyed carrot top were just not very smart…now were they?

But, that’s the thing.
Claire was thrilled to get glasses.
Why wouldn’t she be?

As far as she’s concerned, cool people like her little friend at school (a boy there has glasses) and her momma wear glasses, so it’s a pretty awesome thing.

She was a little concerned about getting the answers on the eye test “wrong,” but we’ve worked through that. I explained that it wasn’t a right vs. wrong kind of test.

The other issue I’ve tried to smooth over is the fact that none of the Disney Princesses have glasses. Claire pointed this out to me the other day, and she was quite distraught. (Are you listening, Mr. Disney’s Estate et al?!) Both Claire and I agree that it’s pretty silly, because girls who wear glasses can do anything.

I’ve adjusted to life with Claire’s glasses, too. Keeping them clean has almost been the death of me, but I’m working through my issues.  If she’s doing something rough, her glasses can stay safely in her case.  Her eyes aren’t so bad that she won’t be able to see anything. We’ve talked about the importance of putting them where they go when they’re not being worn, and I’m doing a good job remembering that she’s only 4-years old, so the appropriate amount of slack has been cut.

So, that’s the story of Claire’s glasses. Her eyes will either get better, and she’ll be able to say good bye to her super-cool glasses, or she’ll get to keep wearing her super-cool glasses.

Either way is fine by me.