When I’m bored with a program and have no set goals, I tend to slack.

I don’t want all my hard work to go to waste, so when I read about another challenge, I was intrigued.

200 sit-ups?
200 squats?
100 push-ups?

I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over all the hysterical laughter in my head.

But then I thought about it.
And, then I looked at the links describing what to do.

And, then I tried to find where the line started…you know…the line people were forming to jump off the bridge.

Hey guys, wait for me!

Some are calling this the September Challenge, but I was a bit late to the starting gate. I will either catch up or be a day or two behind…and that’s okay.

I decided to do the “test.” The test is where you see how many sit-ups, squats, and push-ups you can do before collapsing, throwing up, or both. This gives you your base number, and then you use the provided charts to follow the exercise routine. Three days a week for six weeks, you follow the little numbers on the chart, and there you go.

It’s so simple.
It’s numbers based.

I love hate love it already.

Did I mention that completing The Shred has made me a tad crazy? No? Forget I said anything then…

So, where was I…oh, right. On Wednesday, I did the test. I think doing this on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays will be good for me.

You want to know my results of the test?

I was able to do 18 push-ups before collapsing. 18!? Some may think that’s piddly, but I’ll have you know that that’s 17-and-a-half more than I could do before The Shred. This score, based on my age, put me at the Level 3 on the handy-dandy little chart, which is pretty low.

I was able to do 100 sit-ups before my abs burst into flames. According to the “rules” for this challenge, we are really doing crunches…not a “true” sit-up. Still, 100 put me in the excellent category, so my ego was somewhat bolstered after the pounding it took for my pathetic push-up score.

I was able to do 125 squats before my legs turned into noodles. This was also in the excellent category.

Then, I nearly collapsed.

I just knew that I wouldn’t be able to haul myself out of bed the next morning, but you know what? I was! I wasn’t even in any noticeable pain! Granted, that night, I hobbled around like an old lady, so I have a feeling once I begin the program, I’m in for a treat. Heh.

So, we’ll see where this goes.  I’m committed to following this fitness challenge. Whether or not I should be committed into the loony bin has yet to be seen.

Time will tell, I guess.

I’m publishing this before completing Day One of the challenge, and if I have the energy, I’ll report back.  So…stay tuned!

Edited to add:  I did it!  I completed Day One, and it wasn’t as hideous as I thought it would be.  After tallying all the different sets, it’s amazing to think I did 46 pushups, 113 situps and 147 squats.  That’s just crazytalk!

I keep telling myself if I can survive Jillian, I can survive anything.

Plus, how bad could it be?

I deal with pain and the potential for pain with humor, so it was no surprise that my Twitter Updates and Facebook Statuses up to that day were filled with questions about Boot Camp and if it was like a Summer Camp for Shoes.

I can’t say I was surprised to find out that it was just what I thought it would be. Deep down, I knew it would be hard.

I try to keep this blog clean, for the most part, so I will refrain from using the language necessary to describe this Boot Camp.

There were no songs. There were no crafts. There were no marshmallows to roast. And, no one even wore their boots. I feel totally misled!

It was an hour of pure torture. I can honestly say that without my experience with The Shred, or getting to this place weight-wise in the first place, I would have died. I would have keeled over on the lawn and collapsed. It was intense!

After the HOUR (yes, HOUR) was over, I was exhausted, but I didn’t feel too bad. My friend asked me if I’d consider doing another one, and I heard my voice say I would. Then I laughed and joked that I’d give her an answer tomorrow.

Well, the next day rolled around, and I almost sent her a text that read, “I hate you.” But, I’ve seen enough Law & Orders to know that things like that taken out of context are never a good thing. Plus, the strength needed to open my cell phone was proving to be too much for me.

My whole entire body was broken. I’m not sure how it happened, which of the running laps or sprints or jumping jacks or squats or pushups or kickboxing routines (on repeat) was the final straw, but my body was broken. Maybe it was the part where they made us run up and over the picnic tables? I don’t know.

My husband wouldn’t let me do my next day of the Shred. I didn’t have the energy to fight him, and I figured that 60 full-minutes of Shred-like workouts should count for something.

I’m still sore, but I have almost a full-range-of-motion in my extremities back. I am back onto the routine now, after taking a break for a couple of days. And, if you have a problem with that, I’ll show you some of the kickboxing moves I learned. You think I’m kidding? At one point one of the three massively muscular trainers was giving me a hard time, er, I mean “being encouraging,” and I asked him if we could go back to those moves and use his head as a target. He thought I was kidding.

Heh.

But, I did it! I completed a Boot Camp without barfing and without passing out. Yes, those really were my two goals.

Will I do it again?
Ask me when the drugs have worn off…

I knew that I’d be leaving on vacation and I wondered what would happen. I wanted to continue doing something, but I wasn’t sure how that would work. My husband told me not to spend too much time worrying about it, because 1) we were going on vacation, and the point is to relax, and 2) we’d be hiking almost every day, in one form or another.

When I was packing for my trip, I debated leaving my workout clothes, shoes and weights at home. What were the odds of using them? My sister had said she was interested in checking out the DVD, so I was bringing that. I debated with myself about what to do. Bring them and lug them around, not using them? Don’t bring them and kick myself if I found myself at the perfect opportunity to use them?

In the end, I put them in my bag. That way, I’d have them, but I promised not to beat myself up if I didn’t get a chance to use them.

None of the hotels we stayed in had DVD players, so I couldn’t follow the DVD.  Some mornings, I’d do a few of the moves from memory, but I didn’t have a chance to do the 20-minutes every day. The non-schedule and full-on relaxation mode of vacation was intoxicating, and I never got out the weights. Or my exercise clothes. Or my exercise shoes. They stayed neatly packed.

The DVD got some use…but not by me. My sister, the one who we were going to visit in California, and the one who does pilates and works out every day at the gym was able to borrow the DVD, and she was promptly hooked. She bought it and is now working through it. Because she’s fit and thin and wasn’t a slug like I was when I started it, she’s not in nearly as much pain as I was at the beginning, but that’s okay.

I was able to enjoy my vacation and the fruits of my hard work in doing the Shred in the first place. I had more stamina for hiking, and my energy levels were kept up the whole vacation. But, I knew that when I got back home, I needed to get back on track or I’d lose what I’d worked so hard to gain (or vice versa, as the case may be).

So, I’m re-starting the 30 Day Shred, from the beginning, 10-days each level. I won’t be blogging about it every day, but I will be referring to it on Twitter. (If you don’t follow me on Twitter, you can see some of my latest updates down on the left-hand column of the blog.) Today was the completion of Day 2. Again. It’s 100 times better the second time around, but it’s still a real workout.

People ask me what my favorite part of our vacation was, and I give the appropriate answers: the beach, the Grand Canyon, LegoLand, The San Diego Zoo, spending quality time with my husband and little girl, seeing friends and relatives, being able to unwind and decompress. I had a fabulous time, and it’s hard to choose what to say first, so over the coming days, I’ll be sharing our adventures.

But, the real answer? The answer that immediately jumps to the forefront of my mind and makes me smile? Remembering the look on my sister’s face when she screeched, “You’re so skinny!” THAT was my favorite part of my vacation, and I’m going to do what I can to maintain it.

Why?

1. I figured that it was supposed to be Day 34, and any day that starts with a 3 is okay to take a break.
2. My knees were killing me!  I don’t have knee problems!  I’d heard of other Shredheads having knee issues, and didn’t think it would happen to me.
3. It did.
4. I like making lists.
5. Four is my favorite number, so I should have stopped there in the list.

Anyway, today, I thought I’d jump back into it.  Is today Day 34?  Or 35?  Eh…doesn’t matter.  Right?  The Perfectionist part of me really wants to know, but the Casual part says it doesn’t really matter.  Neither side has the energy to argue about it. 

I asked Claire which Level she wanted to do, and she told me Level 4.  There is no Level 4.  Thank goodness!

So, we decided since I’d done two days at Level 1 again and took a break that I could do Level 2 again.

You know that part in Level 2 where Jillian says, “Block it out” at the end?  Well, apparently I had.  (It’s okay.  As a former counselor, I would tell you that blocking things out is a coping mechanism and somewhat effective at times.)

I’d forgotten the oblique twists.  How can you forget the oblique twists?

Claire was doing them today and got herself spinning in a circle and then fell down.  She laughed and screamed, “My OH-BLEEK TRISTS just knocked me down!”  Had I been capable of laughing at that point, I would have.

You’d think that after 33+ days (there! that’s a good way to say it!), I’d have the energy to laugh in the middle of the workout.

I’d forgotten how wrung out it makes you feel.  I literally collapsed on the floor at the end.  Oh, Level 2, how I’ve missed you.  Jillian.  What have you done to me?  I willingly come back for more…almost every day…give or take a day past 33. 

You can check out all my Shredding Adventures by clicking here!

“That’s me! That’s Momma!” I said.

“Where? Behind that lady with Daddy?” She wasn’t convinced.

“No, that was me. That was Momma with Daddy, before I lost weight. See?” and I clicked to the photo from November 2002.

Basically, my hair color was the point of reference she needed.

“Why did your style change, Momma?” was her polite and innocent way of asking what had happened.

…and this is that story.

May 2001 vs. November 2002

I never weighed myself before Weight Watchers. We never even owned a scales, and I would be weighed at my yearly exam at the doctor’s office, so my weight was being recorded somewhere, but I never cared to remember it.

I never kept track of what size of clothes I wore. Large. I wore large. Or eXtra Large. Or maybe there was more than one X if I wanted to be comfortable. My top-half was always lots bigger than my bottom-half, so I hated shopping.

Usually, I wore sizes 18/20. Sometimes the sizes were larger.  Sometimes 14/16 would fit.    It all just depended, and I really never gave it a second thought. I had curves, so I felt sexy in the right clothes. The right clothes made me look proportional. Admittedly, I wasn’t wearing the “correct” shirt in that before picture. It was far from slimming. I was never really self-conscious about my weight.

I was who I was, and I was okay with that.

I was a really skinny little girl. I was average in high school and college. Or maybe I wasn’t. When did I get bigger? I don’t really remember. I never saw myself as fat. I never saw myself as overweight. I knew parts of me were “big,” but I was okay with that. I’d accepted that. I’d had to wear “over the shoulder boulder holders” (as coined by my little brother.  Gotta love little brothers.) for what seemed like my entire tenure as a “woman,” so bigger sizes just came with the territory.

My husband never had an issue with my size, and he never said an iota about my weight or my shape or anything at all. Total, mutual, unconditional acceptance is wonderful.

But, I will never forget sitting at a stoplight on the way to work one day and looking down and thinking, “I’ll always be this way. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to change.  But, I don’t need to.  Right?” I don’t remember what prompted it. Maybe it was a commercial on the radio? That detail is lost to me, but I remember the resignation I felt.  Only, I pretended it was acceptance.

I’ll always be me.
What does it matter what I weigh?
The important thing is that I’m happy. And, I’m happy. Right?  Right.

That moment planted a seed in my brain. What if I could change? What if I could lose weight? I talked to my husband about it, and he told me that if I wanted to change for me, to do it. But, that he loved me just the way I was. I could tell he really meant it.

I tried watching what I was eating, but without a real plan, I floundered. I didn’t know what I was doing. That’s when I decided to join Weight Watchers.

In September of 2002, I attended my first meeting and first weigh-in. At that time, they were on the “Points Plan” or whatever they called it. Basically, without giving away too many company secrets, every food item or beverage you consume has a point value that is calculated by a secret equation of fiber, calories, and grams of fat. (You get guide books of food lists and a really cool little sliding-card-dealie to help you calculate the magical number.) You were allotted a certain number of points per day. If you want to lose weight, keep within your points-range value.

How do you keep track of this? Write down every single thing you eat or drink in a journal along with the point value.

It was simple.
It was calculated.
It was detailed.
I love all three of those things, and I’m good at following the rules.

But, it was also lenient enough that I could eat real food. I just couldn’t eat buckets of it. I had to stay within my points for the day. Since it was a point-range, you could save up points for a little splurge out with friends, as long as you stay within your boundaries when it was all said and done. It took a little bit of planning at times, but that’s to be expected.  You can write what you want down in your journal, and you can lie to your journal, but the scales will never lie to you…so it’s best to just be honest and deal with the reality of the situation.

Another big part of weight loss was water intake. Admittedly, before Weight Watchers, I never drank enough water.  On the plan, I followed their suggestions, and nearly floated away the first week. But, imagine my surprise when I saw that I’d lost 5 lbs the first week! No, my results weren’t typical, but I was astounded.

Who knew that drinking water and writing down what you were eating would make you lose weight!? (Obviously it’s more involved than that, but it really is that simple. Easy? No. Simple? Yes.)

My hubby was completely on board with this new plan, and he even helped me write the point values on the sides of the boxes we had in the cupboards. (Rather than figure it every time, it was super-simple to look at the number we’d written on the box.) He never made fun of me for measuring my portions. When the carton says a serving is 1/4 cup, it’s really 1/4 cup. At restaurants, he didn’t even bat an eye when I’d ask the waiter to bring me a box with my food order so that I could put half of whatever was on my plate in the take-home box right away and set it by my purse. Out of sight; out of my mouth…and ultimately off of my journal and off the scales.

Sometime over the next week or so, I’ll post some other tips and tricks I learned that really helped me!

Weight Watchers helped me figure out why I was drawn to eating the way I had been eating. For me, there was a lot of emotional ties to the food I chose to eat. With the help of the meetings, I was able to dissect the issue, pull out the problem parts and look at them under the glaring lights. Out in the open, the emotional issues shriveled up. They no longer held any power.

A lot of my emotional issues stem from the way I was raised. I know my mother didn’t mean any harm when she’d say, “How was your day? Here, have a brownie. You’ll feel better.” The brownie made me feel better. In actuality, it was probably the talking about my day while eating the brownie that made me feel better, but my brain latched onto the power of the brownie.

Eat this, and all your troubles will go away.

When I realized what was happening, I had more control over what I wanted to eat. I could decipher the “why” I wanted to eat and then plan accordingly. I realized I could appreciate a nice meal and not eat too much. I could have one piece of chocolate, if I wanted, and not eat a whole box. I could walk into the Godiva Chocolates store and just smell the wonderfulness of it all and walk out without buying anything.

Remember the Sex and the City episode where Miranda joins Weight Watchers? Just like her challenges in that episode, MY Weight Watchers facility was literally next door to a Dairy Queen. Do you know how cruel that is? Do you know how much energy it took for me to park in front of that store and not go in?

Well, I harnessed that energy and focused it on my weight loss goals.

By the end of the year, I had lost 40 lbs. and hit my goal weight and became a Lifetime Member. I was ecstatic.

But that wasn’t the end of my journey.

For the longest time, even in my size 2 and size 4 clothes I felt like I was an overweight person trapped inside the body of a thin woman. I felt like I was wearing a disguise. People treated me differently, in a good way, and I’d never really noticed being treated poorly when I was heavier-set. Had I been? Had I been blind to it?

There was a lot of mental stuff I had to work out, and it startled me. I remember looking down again, like I had in the car that one day, and I didn’t see a difference.

I really didn’t see it.
I’m still me.
Do I really look so different?
And, does it matter?

From the inside out, I still saw the same thing, the old me. What I saw didn’t match what the mirror and my husband and my friends saw.  I truly believe that had I not been on a program to help me regulate this, I could have easily slipped into the unhealthy pattern of losing too much.

The most telling part about my transformation were the people who hadn’t seen me in a while and the shocked looks on their faces. “But, we never saw you as having a weight problem. But, wow! Look at you!”

Maybe they were just being kind, or maybe they were telling the truth. Either way, it was true. I had lost the weight. I was healthier, and I was the same person but also completely different. I was still happy, but I felt a different type of happiness that I’d never felt before.

July 2003

I’d made it to the top of the world, and I couldn’t believe it.

I was able to maintain my weight-loss right up until I got pregnant with Claire in 2005. I was actually really worried that I’d fret and stress about seeing the number on the scales go up, but thankfully, I was able to let that go and enjoy my pregnancy. (Well, as much as I could enjoy pregnancy…which is another story.) I gained the “appropriate” amount of weight according to my doctor, and I knew that I had the skills to get back to where I needed to be when I’d completed this portion of my new adventurous journey.

After having Claire, most of the pregnancy weight just fell right off. This is something nearly all new mothers hope will happen, and few experience.  But, that’s how it worked for me.  Claire was 8lbs 6oz, and I can only imagine that the rest of it was because I’d suffered such horrible morning sickness that the pregnancy gods decided to take pity on me.

I didn’t want to take any chances with messing up my breast-feeding**, so I didn’t even worry about my weight until Claire was weaned a year later. **They say you can’t mess up breast-feeding by dieting, but I was too afraid to take the chance.

Now, here is where those die-hard WW people will probably be very disappointed with me, but I never went back to a WW meeting after having Claire. *gasp* I know, right!?  Well, you see…I knew what to do. I got out my journals, and my point counters, and I got myself back to where I needed to be without the meetings.

Shhhh. Don’t tell anyone.

Doing this meeting-less and WW-support-free doesn’t work for everyone, so if you’re struggling, by all means, go back to a meeting. I was prepared to go back if I had an issue, but it never came down to that.

Oddly enough, after pregnancy my body shifted and spread and became flabulous. Flab, though annoying, doesn’t weigh as much as muscle, so with the proper clothes, I looked like I was almost back to where I had been. I was *almost* at my goal weight but my desire to tone led me to the Shred.

February 2009

As you’ve read about in that adventure, I’m still a work in progress, but all this is what I’m talking about when I say that I’ve already come a long way to get to this point.

And, I can’t wait to see where the path leads…because if I’ve learned anything from this whole experiene, it’s that the journey is far from over.

I promised to go back to business-as-usual around here, and I am.

I just wanted to pop in and say that I did Level 1 again today. I was all cocky. I thought I’d be able to follow Natalie with no problems, because I’ve been to Level 3, baby! I did all 30 days! Level 1 should be easy for me!

You think Level 1 isn’t a real workout after you’ve reached the upper levels?

To quote Jillian, “Think again, buddy.”

Wow. I did it. It wasn’t nearly as hard as the first time I did it, but I dare say it really does qualify as a good workout, even after Level 3.

So, hang in there, Shredheads! I’ll be updating Twitter (@casualperfect) with updates for Day 31 and Beyond. If I have something more monumental that can be encapsulated in 140-characters, I’ll blog about it.

But, I’m here.
I’m still working.
I can’t wait to see where this goes.

Now for some final results:

Inches off tummy: 2 inches!
Inches off thighs: almost 2 inches – off each!

How do I feel?
Awesome!

How do my clothes fit?
Terrible! And, that’s awesome!

None of my jeans fit correctly anymore. I had to ransack my wardrobe and found some capris (do people still wear capris?) that fit, and even they are a little too big. I love having an excuse to buy new clothes, and I think I timed this perfectly with the new season. Yay!

So, what about weight-loss?  I had a net-loss of 2 lbs, which isn’t the “20 lbs. in a month!” they tout.  However, I already did the weight-loss program I wanted to do.  This was separate for me.  I wasn’t using this as a weight-loss tool. I am more focused on toning and building muscle. I am happy with my weight. I wouldn’t be opposed to losing a few more pounds, but my goal was toning. That being said, watching the scales raise during the transition from fat to muscle was frustrating, but it’s gone back down to where it was…and it’s still going down…so I’m happy with that!

So, a big question I toyed with was whether or not I should post pictures. I am thrilled with my results, but if you were to see these photos out of context, you’d be like, “and she wants to wear a two-piece swimsuit eventually, why?”

I mean, the truth is, I’m sensitive. I’m not ashamed of my body, but I prefer to keep it covered.  My clothes hide a lot of indiscretions.

Plus, I’m shy.

Okay, those of you who know me in real life can stop laughing right now.

Seriously. There is no photographic evidence of my skinny-dipping days, and that snorting you’re doing from laughing so hard is so unbecoming.

But, because we’re all naked under our clothes, and I want to show the progress I’ve made, I decided to post pics, but you can only get to them from here: Click on this link if you want to see my progress.

You’ve been warned. I will not be held responsible for nightmares or visual impairment problems that result from viewing these photos.

And, be kind.
Please.
I am a delicate flower.

I’ll wait here while you click over to check them out.

…

…

Please don’t hurt yourself.

…

…

…Okay, are you back?

Quite a change, huh? Those are not photoshopped in any way, as you can see by the sunburn I got yesterday!!

I’m not signing up to model any swimsuits, but I can’t stress enough how impressed I am with the 30 Day Shred.  And, anyone who has done it or is in the middle of it will tell you that the 30 Day Shred is just part of the story.  I made the effort to do it every day.  I summoned my Inner Yoda.  I’m going to try not to hurt myself patting myself on the back. 

So, what’s next?  I’m going to keep on going!  I am starting the 30 Day Shred over!  I can’t wait to see if I can keep up with Natalie all through Level 1 now.  I haven’t decided if I’ll do a couple days at each level, or if I will just mix it up a bit, but I will definitely keep doing this, and my goal is to do 20-minutes a day.

After all, tomorrow is Day 31 of the 30 Day Shred…

And, I can’t wait to post some new “after” photos when the time comes.

Check it out by clicking here or using the tab up above!

Problem solved.

I.
Have.
One.
Day.
Left.

You know when you’re working as hard as you can, and you know you’re almost done, and you hear Jillian say something to the effect of, “These are the last 30 seconds,” and you either give it just a little more or you hang on just a little tighter?

Yeah, it feels like that…only better.

So, now that we’re getting to the end of the “official” routine, my personal trainer (Claire, my 3 yr old) has stepped things up a notch herself.

Imagine my surprise when I went downstairs and saw that she had the room all set up for me! She’d moved the ottoman over, which is no easy task! It’s huge! And, she had my blanket all laid out on the floor (to help with the rugburn issues), and my weights were off to the side where I usually put them.

I already have her somewhat trained in that every morning, she brings me my socks and shoes and exercise clothes, but getting the room ready is a new one.

It’s about time she starts earning her keep.

So, tomorrow is the last day of the 30 Day Shred! But, I have a feeling that it will be the beginning of much more.

Hang in there.
Hang on.
Hang on to the reasons you’re doing this.

Breathe.
Whatever you do, breathe.

“Push. Hang in there. Breathe.” Jillian says this throughout the workout, and it’s something my mind grasps a hold of toward the end.

Today, I completed Day 28 of the 30 Day Shred, and Day 8 of Level 3. You can read more about my 30-Day Shred Adventures by clicking here! When I started this personal challenge, the days loomed before me, so I focused on the one at hand. Now, we’re careening toward the end, and it’s almost here. All I have to do to reach it?

Push. Hang in there. Breathe.